Friday, April 18, 2008

Oh, Bloody Hell


It never fails. Whenever I've wanted to take a little break...take a breather...rest my weary bones as it were, Ray Emery goes and says something stupid to drag my once infuriated but now merely exasperated ass back to the keyboard.

Not content to let his season's body of work speak for him from under the wreckage of a destroyed dressing room, our Ray-Ray decided that he would avail himself of the media presence during Packing Day in order to ensure we fully understand why we think he's a petulant, self-absorbed man-child who should never, under any circumstances, be entrusted with so much as a lemonade stand, let alone the Title hopes of an expectant populace.
If goaltender Ray Emery has indeed played his last game with the Ottawa Senators, he's not leaving quietly...Queried on whether he was unfairly held responsible for the Senators' late-season slide and became a distraction because of his mediocre play and lax practice habits, he responded: "Well, I don't take responsibility for the team losing in the playoffs, I'll tell you that much."
Of course, technically speaking, he didn't. After all, he hasn't played a game since Teflon was canned.

But here's the thing Ray. Any Sens fan who has been paying even the slightest attention (and I count myself as one of them) knew our Championship season actually ended three months ago, the humiliation-by-sweep being merely the logical conclusion. And that's all on you, fuckstick. We know it, The Bryan knows it, and I have a feeling that someday in the not so distant future when you're sitting around sharing pints and dodging pool cues with your new ECHL buddies in some Biloxi biker bar, you'll figure it out too.

Other gems in today's Ray-Ray hit parade:

"I showed up late for practice twice this year and had an opportunity to come on the ice. I was just late coming to the rink and they told me to go home ...When some other guys are late coming to the rink, they're just fine or whatever happens."

That's probably because they didn't subsequently mail it in during that same practice.

"I think it's media coverage that, you know, there's not really a whole lot in Ottawa going on other than this hockey team."
Yep, nothing says "I absolutely see the error of my ways and would love the opportunity to come back and work harder than I ever have in my life so that I may redeem myself in the eyes of the organization and its fans" like calling the fan base a bunch of cud chewing hicks easily swayed by an obviously biased media.

It will cost the Sens roughly $1.7 million against the cap, spread over the next two years, to buy out this jackass's contract. Money well spent, I'd say.

I'll give The Bryan the sweet, sweet last words on this sad sack affair (as spoken at this afternoon's presser): "My plan is not to have him back."

Now go away asshole, and give me my break back.

Emery Lets Loose [Ottawa Citizen]
Murray Says Emery To Go; Spezza And Heatley To Stay [TSN.ca]

4 comments:

Jaredoflondon said...

man, I love that picture.

Free Willig said...

Actually, the cap hit for Ray Ray is about $560,000 for each of the next 4 years. He had two years left on his contract and the buyout is spread over twice the number of years left on the contract.

Make sure to check out Brennan today. I'm sure you can probably make a connection to someone you verrrry recently blogged about.

WufPirate said...

Milli Vanilli stopped by and wanted me to tell you to blame it on the rain.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Free Willig: Yeah, I realized I had made that mistake after reading yesterday's Citizen. But after the sweep, I didn't think I had enough readers left to bother fixing it. :)

And it looks like Brennan finally stumbled upon the worst kept secret in the city.

Wuf: Are you sure? It was hard to tell, what with the words and mouth movements not quite synching up.