Friday, April 11, 2008

Seriously Pittsburgh. Cocky Doesn't Become You. Irrationally Angry Maybe. But Not Cocky

In lieu of a period-by-period post tonight, I thought I'd do something different. Truth be told, I found writing pithy little observations during the game too distracting. And besides, after reading my posts from Game 1, even I was bored. So...while I know this will be terribly disappointing to Jeffery, I'm sure he'll calm down after he gets his bottle.

Instead, I need to (finally) hold up my end of a deal. FrankD, editor of the SB Nation's, came to me with an idea that would serve as a cultural bridge between two warring camps, a frank and respectful exchange of ideas if you will, meant to foster good will and understanding. Being the fair and open minded renaissance man that I am, I immediately said "NO WAY!!" I much prefer fora where two groups can feel free to poke each other in the eye and laugh at the discomfort so inflicted.

He was gracious enough to give me the first shot. Here it is. The passionate responses from his readership, both on his site and my own certainly made for an interesting, if somewhat monosyllabic read. And now, I give you the rejoinder:

Dear Ottawa,

Hi. Did you see game one? Pretty nice, eh? Well get used to it. Pittsburgh is going to walk all over you in no more than five games (I'll give room for one with respects to last season). Might I suggest you forfeit game 4? You guys can't afford another injury and frankly it wouldn't look very nice with injured Senators limping along the greater golf courses that Canada has to offer. I will admit though, and this is in total honesty and sympathy, I felt pretty bad for Volchenkov. That shot is not going to sit well, and hope the damage was not too severe. Last I heard it was lacerations. I don't know how bad they are, but if he's anything like Malkin (who took 10 stitches to the face from a Dubinsky skate) he'll be back next game.

But he's not like Malkin - sorry, I couldn't resist.

Roberts vs Schubert. Could it be the forsaken prophecy? As long as the refs don't get in the way this time, you best make your bets that Roberts will rock him. [ED.--Um...not sure the refs "got in the way" so much as "tried desperately to get out of the way but Gary kept ducking behind them"...but that's just me]

You might as well bet on something with a guaranteed win.

Now I ask you, are we to stand for such blatant disrespect no matter how well written it is? NAY, says I!

We're five minutes away from puck drop for Game 2. Keep FrankD's searing words close to your hearts as we hope and pray for Gary Fucking Roberts' imminent destruction. And who knows. Frank keeps lipping off like this, I may have to turn Jeffrey on him. After all, he keeps telling us he's a Devils' fan.



FrankD said...

First goal of many for the game. Looks like I have to start drafting another "sorry you lost" letter.

Jeffrey Paswick said...

tell me who to dick punch