I was afraid this might happen. As soon as the playoff match ups were set, I said to myself "Uh-oh, here they come." And they didn't disappoint.
For the three of you unaware of the fact, The Pens Blog is one of the top rated hockey blogs on these here interwebs. They are ruthless in their pejoratives (which makes them funny as shit 98% of the time...that 2% being when their guns are pointed at your team) and Masters of the PhotoShop. And their readership is rather...enthusiastic.
What follows are the comments I received from Penguins fans following my rather (at least I thought) innocuous post below.
Anonymous said...The picture you posted is of Malkin. Way to go JACKASS! Remember last year. It's revenge time. You MAPLE SUCKING MOOSE FUCKING CHILD TOUCHERS ARE DONE. THIS IS GOING TO BE MORE FUN THAN TAKING YOUR WIFE OUT TO A NICE SEAFOOD DINNER AND NEVER CALLING HER AGAIN.
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Roberts is back bitches. Ottawa is done. At least Staal and Sidney can get a few cups if Tim Horton's before hitting round 2.
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senators suck. why r u talking trash on the penguins when "ur senators" are going into the playoffs limper than gordie howe's dong?
Anonymous said...
Sidney...spell check before trash talking.
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Senators suck. You suck. Your mom's gay.
Okay, let's try this in order. I'll type slow for those who can't read very quickly:
- Anonymous number...um...2: Yes, I know it's Malkin. I used the same picture after we thumped you in Game 1 last year. I was unaware that text and picture had to match. I'll try not to do it again, seeing as it seems to confuse you. Oh, and your Caps Lock is on.
- Jeffrey: I'd like to congratulate you for manning up and being the only Penguins commenter to use an actual name. Bravo. While I have no first hand knowledge as to the potency of Gordie Howe's reproductive organs, I'd be grateful if you could point out under what circumstances you acquired yours.
- Anons 1 & 3: Solid hockey related points raised by both of you, which I plan on addressing as soon as I can herd your friends back into their cages. Bonus points for using actual grammar and correct punctuation.
- Anon 4: Sorry, and thanks for the tip. I'll get it right next time. "Sidney was much more whiny then he normally is..." Better?
- Anon 5: Thank you for your contribution. I look forward to more of your well thought out counter arguments as the series progresses. Oh, and my mom asks just what is your point, exactly?
11 comments:
post best enjoyed while listening to Slayer - War Ensamble.
Haha this is all too funny, take a look at Jeffrey Paswick's blog if you havent had the distinct pleasure yet.
Besides my Sharks series, Pens-Sens is my favorite match up in the first round.
limper than gordie howe's dong
*adds to list of phrases to work into daily vocabulary*
mr. plank, thanks for looking at my blog. five for smiting, shut up about the senators, the penguins will win. but i dont care, i am a devils fan! go martin!!!!!!!! suck it!
also, the opening picture is teh awesome
Nothing like a little bit of pompous trash talk. We'll just have to wait and see how the Gary Roberts boytoy harem fairs in the playoffs.
Everytime Crysby whines to the ref little ice cubes fall from his eyes.
all hail Jeffrey, Mr Brave with an actual name!
at least your opponents have come out. ours are strangely quiet
Sometimes I wonder if, because of the extreme reaction to a single line of text, they are responding not to you at all, but to the voices rattling around in their nearly-empty heads.
Pens will kick the crap out of the Sens. That piece in the NYTimes was rather laughable. That is very much a review of a homer.
LD, Gareth, HF29, Duff, Baroque, Jared and even you Mr. Plank, thank you all! God, it was nice to see/read friendly faces. And complete sentences. And punctuation.
And, um...Big K...
That is very much a review of a homer.
I've never pretended to be anything but. And, er, that's kinda what The Gray Lady asked for. Just sayin'...
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