Thursday, March 22, 2007

And Great Umbrage Shall Be Loosed Upon The Land...again.

Cover your ears children, for there will be howls of outrage and much gnashing of teeth emanating from the learned scribes south of the border today (and truth be told, a few on this side of the divide…not to name names, but they all appear on TS (Ed. – Shut up! Legal says NO brands!)…er…they all appear on a certain Canadian sports-oriented television network not named “SportsNet” at 10:30 Sunday mornings…or so I’ve heard (Ed. – That’s better.)) about the VIOLENT!! and BARBARIC!! nature of our favorite sport. Entire forests will die to espouse their enlightened opinion that those of us who love this kind of thing are nothing but knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who, when not clubbing our women over the head, are going giggleshits over old Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em tapes whilst sitting in our Cheezie-stained underwear. (Ed. – Suddenly I’m hungry…and pantsless)

It seems that Todd Fedoruk knocked himself loopy pummeling Colton Orr’s fist with his face last night, sparked, it would seem, by Fedoruk’s “rough play” (read: running around like an idiot and cheap-shotting Ranger players) the last time the teams met in February. In a style reminiscent of the great boxing reporters of yesteryear (whose names escape me at the moment…which doesn’t matter ‘cause they’re all dead), AP reporter Ira Podell describes it thusly:

“Just seconds after Orr started for the Rangers, Fedoruk hopped off the Philadelphia bench for a quick line change and squared off with the New York enforcer. The gloves came off and Orr dropped Fedoruk with a hard right to the cheek, knocking him out and forcing him to leave the ice on a stretcher.”

My god, you can almost see the cigarette smoke wafting over the beat up typewriter.

Anyway, judging by the hue and cry that went up after the Neil on Drury hit and subsequent Emery/half of the Buffalo Sabers fight (Best. Goalie fight. Ever. If only because of The Smile), then the Janssen hit on Kaberle (with subsequent pay-back), I do believe that we’re about to be inundated by another round of “Hockey Is Less Popular in the U.S. Than Televised Roach Rodeos And THIS IS WHY PEOPLE!!!” stories. (As an aside here, I’ve never understood the argument that fighting somehow makes hockey too uncouth to catch on in the country that invented NASCAR…which I also love BTW…and spray-on cheese. Maybe they just don’t like ice.)

Please, allow me to simplify this for you Sports Reporter Types before the hyperbole makes your heads explode: Hockey is a contact sport. Hockey has a code. Todd Fedoruk acted like an asshole, violating that code. A well-deserved comeuppance was called for. It was given. The Earth continues to rotate on its axis. Get over it. That is all.

Rangers 5, Flyers 0 []

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