Friday, March 23, 2007

If a Man Can’t Have Carnal Knowledge Of A Deer Carcass, The Terrorists Have Won!

On the heels of our Avian Aficionado, comes this delightful story out of the great state of Wisconsin, home of…um…well…cheese and, it would seem, rather unbalanced youth. (Ed. – Morons! YAY!)

SUPERIOR, Wis. (AP) - A 20-year-old man received probation after he was convicted of having sexual contact with a dead deer. The sentence also requires Bryan James Hathaway to be evaluated as a sex offender and treated at the Institute for Psychological and Sexual Health in Duluth, Minn.

And, friends, that’s not even the weirdest part of the story. At the time he was caught in flagrente delicto, our boy Bryan was on probation for…wait for it…killing a horse for the same purpose. The final insult (if this is possible)? He may have to register as a sex offender. Wouldn't you love to be at his next job interview?

"So, Mr. Hathaway. I see you're a registered sex offender. "
"Oh, I'm not one of you're average, run-of-the-mill perverts."
"Hmm-hmm...While that wouldn't normally bother us here at [Ed. -- Jesus Christ!! You're gonna get us sued!!] could you elaborate?"
"Well, I kill large livestock then know them, sir. Intimately, sir"
"Get out of my office Hathaway."

He gets out of jail in December. As a public service, I would suggest that all turkeys be stored in locked freezers for the festive season. You’re welcome.

Man Gets Probation For Dead Deer Sex [My]

Update: Just to stay with a theme, I draw your attention to this. You know, sooner or later, they’re going to start fighting back. Anarchy of biblical proportions people. Biblical!

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