Thursday, March 29, 2007

Leaf Nation Salutes Their Champions! Wait…What??

We would be remiss, we think if we neglected to make small mention of the playoff hopes of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

To anyone with even a rudimentary grasp of mathematics, those hopes are slim indeed. To anyone that is, except the good people who run (even the URL is misspelled! Brilliant!). Just some of the…um…totally objective reporting to be found on the site (our intrepid correspondent is Mike Ullmer, who probably just wants to go home and take a long, hot shower):

“The Hurricanes were unable to come up with an answer for the Leafs number one line of Mats Sundin, Ponikarovsky and Nik Antropov. Fair enough, no one has lately and for evidence of that, roll back your mental video tape for the Leafs recent wins.” Er…sure you can remember that far back??


“Tuesday night, the John Ferguson all-stars came up from the chorus and the Leafs moved closer to the Eastern Conference playoffs with a 6-1 hammering of the eighth-place Carolina Hurricanes.” John Ferguson All-Stars…is that like Scott Hamilton’s Ice Capades?

But our favorite is:

“They use satellite and highlight packages around the NHL. No one is lining up for a piece of the Toronto Maple Leafs right now.” Sa-tel-ites?? High-light-reel?? What is this witchcraft of which you speak??

Perhaps the funniest part of the entire site, though, is today’s “poll”: “What makes Chad Kilger such an effective player for the Maple Leafs?” with such breathless possible answers as “Forechecking Ability” and “Strong Skater”

Hmm…must be the same polling firm politicians use when asking us such unbiased and TOTALLY objective questions like: “Which would you rather do? Vote for our candidate or club puppies with a nine iron?”

But for now, your team is still in it, so carry on Leaf Nation, carry on! You’re all just so damned cute.

Unlikely Contributors Lead To Win []

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well that explains alot anyway. WE ARE LEAF NATION. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. Yikes, talk about drinking the Kool-Aid...