Saturday, February 23, 2008

Sens 4, Happy Feets 3(OT): Message To Heirs Presumptive -- Get The Hell Off My Lawn!

Finally. We finally showed some intestinal fortitude, some gumption, some...balls. It wasn't pretty, but we did it. We peered into the dark abyss that is fifth place in the Eastern Conference, and with one voice, exclaimed unto the heavens and to the omnipotent and benevolent Hockey Gods gathered therein "Fuck this shit".

The Highs:
  • Zoinks! Score one for those meddling kids: Despite the CBC's willful ignorance (The Captain? First Star? Really? Were we watching the same game?) Schubeedoo was clearly the best Senator on the ice. And by "best" I mean "the only one who actually looked like he gave a crap for the first thirty minutes of the game". He skated hard, finished his checks and did his best to be a royal pain in the ass for Malkin and Co. In short, he's everything I should want in a son. However, a small word of advice Christoph, if I may. In future, please refrain from physically striking an opponent when said opponent is two feet off the boards and has his back turned to you. It's not very nice. Unless, of course, said opponent happens to be wearing blue and white...and the number 16. Then by all means...Giddy. Up.
  • Wow. That must have been one hell of a slump buster: Okay Heater, you can loosen that grip now. You got your deuce. And only 20 to go until you hit your third consecutive 50! Isn't that great? Oh, and thanks for playing some pretty solid D too. Maybe you can pull Jason aside and have a 'Cause that would be great!
The Lows:
  • Where's Dave Hodge when you need him?: While it wasn't exactly on the level of preempting an overtime game so Auntie Mabel in Moose Jaw wouldn't miss Peter Mansbridge and the report on wheat futures, I'm just a little peeved by CBC's decision to stick with the extra ends of the Scotties' semi final (that's the Canadian Women's Curling Championship to all of my American friends. The Dave Hodge thing? It's a long story) rather than cut to the game, at least in the Ottawa market. In an age where almost everyone has access to multiple feeds of the same channel, the hardcore rock heads could easily have switched to, say, the Halifax feed. Look, I like curling. I do. In fact, I'll make it a point to watch tomorrow's final, even if the women don't wear those sexy sexy kilts anymore. And sure, it was only the first five minutes, but if you've watched any Senators games over the last month or so, those first five minutes are usually the only time you'll actually see them play hockey.
  • Even the Deathstar had a fatal weakness: Psssst...Ray. Not sure if you've heard, but teams seem to have figured out how to beat you. Sykora certainly went to school on you. A word of advice? If your blocker hand is bothering you, and the bad goals along with the multiple completely butchered attempts at handling the puck would seem to indicate it is, now is the time to tell Teflon, and not...say April...when your tough guy act could cost us a Cup. Again.
Creamy Middle:

This game was like getting laid on Prom night. Without a lot of luck (and in my case, a whole lot of booze), it wasn't going to happen. While we should be ecstatic about coming back from 3 goals down, we should also feel slightly dirty about how it happened. Not that I'm turning my nose at the two points (two points that keep us in first place, at least for another day) , but I'm not going to fly into orgasmic flights of fancy and declare an end to our now three month old "slump". We still have too many passengers ( I'm hurting here dude) or beat up superstars (Alfie? How's that hip buddy?) to feel all that confident going into the stretch run. Then again, The Deadline is Tuesday. Everything could change between now and then. Apropos of nothing, what's Swedish for "Welcome to Ottawa, former Toronto Maple Leaf captain?"

Up Next:

Well, looky here. The Formerly Evil But Now Mostly Pathetic Empire that is Leafs Nation makes a visit to the Bank on Monday night. It just so happens to be the night before the trade deadline. This may be a first, sports fans. Sportsnet will pay more attention to who isn't playing than to who is. wouldn't be the first time. But a least this time, it's on purpose.

Behind Enemy Lines: Round up the usual suspects. I'll be hanging out on the BoO game thread, doing my bit to rile Muppet into a consonant and ampersand heavy rant, but I'd also like to point you to Bitter Leaf Fan. Just the right amount of hope mixed with exasperation and futility, don't you think?


Anonymous said...

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the Habs and the tyranny of evil Leafs. Blessed is he who, in the name of bringing Lord Stanley's Mug home, shepherds the Sens through the Eastern Conference; for he is truly the Captain's captain, and the finder of the five-hole between the keeper's pads.

And I will strike down upon thee with great slapshots and furious net crashing against those who attempt to cross-check and slew-foot my teammates! And you will know my name is Alfie when my backhand finds the back of the net with four seconds left in overtime to seal the comeback and send the Pens packing!

Senators Lost Cojones said...


Loser Domi said...

I think the belt worked