Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sens 6, Habs 1: There Was This Bird See...And The Bird Burned. And Then...Aw, Forget It


Sorry guys. We should have warned you. It would have been the neighbourly thing to do, after all. We've become acclimatized over the years of course, so it never really occurred to us that there might be others who would be new to the experience and therefore a little unprepared for the utterly strange environment they would now find themselves in. Well, better late than never I suppose. So...*AHEM*...On behalf of the Ottawa Senators I would like to offer this word of caution: When planning on joining us at the summit of the mountain, please keep in mind that the air is somewhat thinner than you may be accustomed to, impairing judgment, sapping strength and weakening resolve. All new comers please prepare accordingly. You're welcome.

The Highs:
  • Reunited and it feels so goooood: I've decided I no longer care that we' re a one line team. Nope. "Don't make no never mind" as they say in Britney's trailer park. Not when they can do what they did last night. As I argued in the FHF game thread, 3 superstars and 19 third line bangers, ain't a bad thing to have. 15 points and all of the Senators goals between the three of them with the added bonus of Golden Groin's first career hat trick. Oh, and in case this may have gone unnoticed, Captain MVP has jumped back into a tie for the scoring lead with five points. Reunited and it's understooood...
  • By jove, I think he's got it!: Well, looky here what we found. Why, if it wasn't an honest-to-god, Number One goaltending performance from Rayzor! Now, it remains to be seen whether he can keep it up, in light of our little habit of handing our opponents easy power play chances and the continued and baffling under performance of our "defence", but at the very least it looks like one of the two nutbars wearing the funny pads has finally decided to try and step up. Way to go Ray. I promise I'll (try to) lay off you until you fuck it up again.
  • Oh no you DI'INT (Redux): Wade, I have to be honest with you. You were really starting to piss me off. Not because of the "no trade clause" non-story (more on that below), but because you simply were not worth the ice time THE COACH was giving you. You weren't hitting, spent most of the time standing around while the other team's forwards amused themselves by jamming their sticks into our goalie's scrotum, and worst of all, you weren't doing the one thing you can do better than anybody else on the team, namely the breakout pass from our own zone. Then you took Andrei Kastsitsyn to school after his ill advised sucker punch. Well, "punch" may be too strong a word. Let's call it a "face wash with enthusiasm". But schooling Big Tits (FHF(TM)) on proper scrum etiquette isn't why I'm singling you out either (hell, my dog could probably take him. They fight the same way). No. It's because for the first time in a long time, you looked like you cared. We need to see more of that.
The Lows:
  • Good little boys don't play with matches: In case you didn't know it coming in guys, the Habs have the number one power play in the league, clicking along at a ridiculous 25%. In fact it can almost described as "scary as shit". In addition, you may noticed that neither of our goalies would exactly be considered "money" right now, Ray's exploits last night notwithstanding. So, what do we do? We give them ten chances. Let's do the math, shall we? They score on every fourth chance. We gave them ten. Let's see...four into ten...carry the two...ah, here's the answer: STOP DOING IT!
  • Have stick, will play defence for food: Note to all Senators defencemen not named Christon Philichenkov: Please inform management, at your earliest possible convenience, as to whether or not you actually know how to play this game in order to allow the more accurate manufacture of trade rumours and to better prepare our fans against their inevitable angst and rage. Also, please complete the section on questionnaire entitled "preferred travel arrangements". Thank you.
Now...about this whole Redden business:

There's been much gnashing of teeth in the MSM over the last couple of days over the audacity of Wade Redden refusing to waive his no trade clause, thereby quashing a potential deal with (reportedly) the Sharks. In fact, this morning's TSN The Reporters, spent a considerable amount of time flying into sanctimonious paroxysms of outrage over the fact. Unfortunately, they missed the real story. Namely that this entire episode was media driven from the start.

Some pissant TSN staffer looking to make his or her bones, caught wind of a "conversation" between Reds and Murray on Thursday morning. After asking a couple of vague questions to a few people within the organization, said staffer, thinking they've put two-and-two together, files a small story with the Mothership to the effect that Murray had inquired whether Reds would consent to a trade if one presented itself. Ten minutes later "REDDEN REFUSES TO WAIVE NO TRADE CLAUSE TO HELP TEAM" blares across the front page of TSN's website.

I'm not going to get into a big debate over "new" vs. "old" media here. For one thing it would take up way too much room, and besides, I don't have enough beer in me (yet) to work myself into a sufficiently frothing rage. But suffice to say, this is a prime example why MSM has lost all credibility in the eyes of so many. Murray wouldn't be doing his job if he hadn't asked Wade about the possibility of his accepting a trade. His job is to improve the team. Wade, as is his contractual right, said no. That should have been the end of it. But that wasn't sexy enough. The 24/7 News Cycle Beast must be fed, regardless of any completely manufactured distractions this may cause. We see the same effect every time some obscure scientific study notes an increase in the chance of "X" occurring if we keep doing "Y" gets spun by an overzealous news editor into the lead 11:00pm story as "DOING "Y" WILL KILL YOU!!"

It's cheap. It's unprofessional. It's sensationalist for no reason other than to scream LOOK AT ME! And it's the main reason we won't listen to any of you anymore.

Pithy Observations Questionable Importance:

Who says hockey fans don't pay attention? Before getting yanked after our third goal, Cristobal Huet was enjoying the usual taunting sing-song from the crowd. As some of you may be aware, a couple of weeks ago, he had kindly asked people to begin pronouncing his last name properly (Hue-ette as opposed to Hue-ay). So I was happy to hear the Ottawa fans oblige him with a rousing chorus of Huoooo-ETTE! Huooooo-ETTE! After all, we Sens fans are nothing if not polite. Not sure they would have caught that in Phoenix.

Creamy Middle:

BOO-YAH byotch! We'll put aside our shaky D and penchant for tempting the penalty kill fates (for the time being), and savour a statement win over our closest division rival when we needed it most. Our boys served notice that it's going to take a little bit more than that to knock us off our mountain folks. Count on it.

Up Next: Tuesday night, at home to Buffalo. Sportsnet has the coverage, so for those of you who didn't quite get enough of Dean Brown, statistical regurgitator extraordinaire and Gary Galley's former player/good old boy stories, you're in for a treat. As for the rest of us, we'll just have to stuff socks in our ears, or something.

2 comments:

Duff said...

I thought after all that coverage of the game ,you deserved at least one comment.

It seems we can get up for the big games such as Detroit and MTL.so all is well again.

Now that we have a new red and black playoff beard tandem we should be in good shape for the postseason!
Oh ya,almost forgot,Fuck You Galley for forgetting to call them the Pizza Line!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Aw, shucks. Thanks Duff. Appreciate it.

And I, for one, welcome our new red-afroed defensive overlord.