Combining Senators hockey with a contempt of the human condition since 2007.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
God, I Feel So Dirty...
I've done something bad. Something for which I am deeply ashamed. Beloved burst into tears before barricading herself in the bedroom, sobbing uncontrollably. My dog refuses to make eye contact. Priests look down on me as some kind of deviant.
But I couldn't help myself. All day, I fought the temptation. All day, I raged against myself, consumed by an uncontrollable burning. "NO!", I railed. "You CAN'T! What would the children say?" But it did no good. None at all. It was just too tantalizing...too new...too intriguing.
In a daze, my face, a rictus of demonic determination, I drove home. I barely remember it actually. One last chance before the deed was done and I condemned my soul forever. I peered into the bathroom mirror, searching for a sign, a flash, anything to upon which to hang my last shred of dignity. Alas, I saw nothing but Satan's imp dancing behind crazed eyes. "Doooo it!" it hissed. "Doooo it...you knows youse wants to..." And so, here I sit. Defeated.
I have ordered tonight's game on Pay-Per-Screwed. May God have mercy on my soul.
Unapologetic sports fanatic (blessed with an incredibly patient wife...and my own Man Room). If they keep a score, if there's a winner and a loser, or if the participants stand a better than average chance of bleeding (especially that one), I'll watch it. At least once. Well, except for cricket. I'll NEVER understand cricket.