Thursday, February 28, 2008

God, I Feel So Dirty...


I've done something bad. Something for which I am deeply ashamed. Beloved burst into tears before barricading herself in the bedroom, sobbing uncontrollably. My dog refuses to make eye contact. Priests look down on me as some kind of deviant.

But I couldn't help myself. All day, I fought the temptation. All day, I raged against myself, consumed by an uncontrollable burning. "NO!", I railed. "You CAN'T! What would the children say?" But it did no good. None at all. It was just too tantalizing...too new...too intriguing.

In a daze, my face, a rictus of demonic determination, I drove home. I barely remember it actually. One last chance before the deed was done and I condemned my soul forever. I peered into the bathroom mirror, searching for a sign, a flash, anything to upon which to hang my last shred of dignity. Alas, I saw nothing but Satan's imp dancing behind crazed eyes. "Doooo it!" it hissed. "Doooo it...you knows youse wants to..." And so, here I sit. Defeated.

I have ordered tonight's game on Pay-Per-Screwed. May God have mercy on my soul.

8 comments:

Baroque said...

You poor weak bastard.

Hope the game is a good one! :)

HabsFan33 said...

Ay Papi, wish you could have gotten that 8.99$ back?

Matt said...

It was $10.95 I think :(

I caved as well. As penitence I've decided to re-watch the Leafs/Sens game from last week. Sans beer. Hopefully that's enough of a personal sacrifice to satisfy the hockey gods.

Loser Domi said...

there there, we all do foolish things sometimes...

HabsFan29 said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

karma's a wicked bitch

HabsFan29 said...

oh lookee here at the, uh, standings.

sorry. i need to enjoy the next 16 hours as much as possible.

Senators Lost Cojones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Senators Lost Cojones said...

Matt: GOOD LORD! DON'T DO IT! It's not worth it man!

HF29: We'll see...won't we? OH YES! We shall see.