Tuesday, May 1, 2007

So, Mister Sundin. Will That Be Strained Carrots Or Mushy Peas Today?

As you may have heard, Mats Sundin, fearless and follicly challenged captain of the Maple Leafs, may require career ending hip surgery. I’ve never really detested Mats all that much, certainly not as much as I’ve come to detest most of the other people/animals/paedophilic janitors who’ve been involved with the Toronto Maple Leafs over the years.

Sure, I’ve hated him on the…ahem…rare occasions the Laughs knocked Ottawa out of the playoffs, and I can’t say I was all that fond of him after his little stick in the crowd tantrum, but detest him? On a Darcy Tucker, I-yearn-to-travel-back-in time-to-abort-his-freshly-conceived-zygote level? No, it’s never gotten that bad.

Which is why I’m of two minds on his impending possible retirement. On the one hand, well the guy is a Leaf after all. He had ample time to remedy that character flaw between the day he was traded for Wendy Clark and today. I’m sure there were any number of teams in the intervening years who found themselves in dire need of a bald, surly centre and would have been happy to sign him. But he chose to stay with the Evil Empire, so I’m tempted to let him lay in the bed he made.

On the other hand, Swedes (and this goes for all Swedes, up to and including their morose but incredibly hot women) are impossible to dislike that much. Consider: when was the last time you worked up a really furious lather during a Canada-Sweden game? Right! Never! Even when Canada got their ass handed to them 5-2 in the 2002 Olympic opener, we were all “Oh, that’s okay, its Sweden. They’re so cute, all tucked away up there next to Norway and Denmark…and Santy Clause”.

Granted things may have been different if it had been the Gold medal game (severed reindeer heads in Peter Forsberg’s bed spring to mind, but that might only be me). But it wasn’t, so we didn’t.

Which leads me to conclude that if this is the Cup-less end for Mats, I’ll feel a (very faint) twinge of pity for him and will always remember him as a quiet leader who was as classy as he could be and still stay on any team coached by Pat Quinn. Good luck Mats. But do go gently into that good night.

Sundin Needs Surgery [Toronto Sun]

Update: Battle of Ontario has a great take on various spins on this. I love conspiracy theories!

Update #2: Yes, I am aware of the irony in slagging Simmons on Sunday and then using his article on Tuesday, thank you very much. I didn’t say the boy couldn’t type, just that he couldn’t write. Big difference.

1 comment:

PPP said...

Rare? 4 times in your team's 15 year existence.

25% of the time the Leafs end your season!


Yes, this is late. But I didn't read this until now.