Tuesday, July 8, 2008

This Is A Forward. This Is A Forward On His Ass. Any Questions?

(Photo: Len Redkoles/NHLI via Getty Images)

At the risk of being accused of hyperbole, this is the greatest thing The Bryan has ever done for us in the history of everything. Ever.
The Ottawa Senators needed a defenceman and they were also looking to add some character. They got both in one signing Tuesday. Veteran defenceman Jason Smith, a captain in both Philadelphia and Edmonton, signed a US$5.2-million, two-year deal with the Senators.
I can't tell you how inappropriately aroused I am about this. Seriously, I can't. If I did, I'd have Chris Henson meeting me in the kitchen wondering why I was carrying a six pack of coolers.

He isn't the fastest defenceman in the league. He won't make the sweet break-out pass to a streaking Vermette. Hell, he may not score a goal for us at all. But by God, if, at the very least, he shows Messrs. Lee, Nycholat, and (especially) Meszaros that weak ass, Redden-esque stick checks around your own crease are no longer acceptable, than he's worth every penny we're paying him.

Smith, Bass, Ruutu, Neil, Donovan...this is not your father's Sens team. Buckle up bitches. You are going to hate playing us. And this makes me very, very happy. In the pants.

Senators Sign Defenceman Free Agent Smith [TSN.ca]


Anonymous said...


All hail the Bryan!

-Sidd Finch

Meaghan said...

I am ready to watch the Sens bring the pain.

Michael said...

By Gob. Don Cherry is gonna stew.

Doogie2K said...

Nik Antropov, Leafs No. 1 Centre? Funny.

Nik Antropov, Leafs No. 1 Centre, flat on his ass, watching the play go the other way? Priceless.

He may not be the defenceman he was two or three years ago, but in terms of pain-bringing, you could do a lot worse than "Gator."

Sherry said...

My goodness, SLC. I thought I was the one full of hyperbole. Well done!

All Gator needs to do is shoot Giggles one of those stares and it should be all taken care of. Hopefully.