Hour Two: In Which Our Hero Weeps Silently Over His Wasted Life

So how slow is "The Frenzy"? For the last half hour, Sportsnet.ca has breathlessly informed us that Kyle Wellwood has signed with the Canucks. Shocking. I know. We should all sit down and have another drink. Meanwhile, TSN.ca continues to insist that Cliff's Cujo Crush never actually happened. So the lesson to be drawn from all of this? Our country's pre-eminent sports networks need to take their IT monkeys out behind the smoking lounge and beat them with heavy sticks.

A couple of notes:

• Sportsnet (the real, t.v. types, not the aforementioned monkeys) is saying that Marian Hossa is "mulling over" an offer from the Brooons. The reported terms? Twelve (12!!) years, $100M+. Yeah, Marian. You should probably hold off on signing a paltry deal like that. You might be able to squeeze the Isles for 18 or 20 years.
• The Coke Zero commercials featuring disembodied organs (eyeball on legs, tongues and a mafia don Brain) are hilarious. A little creepy, but hilarious nonetheless.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled coma.

Update: The Bruins are now saying that the numbers swirling around the Hossa story aren't quite right, but that "they remain interested" in signing him. Smells like last minute damage control to keep Harry Sinden's pacemaker from blowing up. But that's just me.

Aaaaand...Sportsnet's servers seem to have crashed. Fucking monkeys...