Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Emperor Attempts To Calm Frightened Populace, Swallows Fiddle


Just because I am now completely numbed to the sucking and wanted to be sure of my own existence, I had planned to break my silence and throw up the usual boiler plate about last night's "game" (that was the worst game in history, blah-blah-blah...goal aside, I still want Picard's testes on a plate, blah-blah-blah...shut the hell up Gator, blah-blah-blah...USING CAPS LOCKS TO DENOTE FRUSTRATION AND INCOHERENT RAGE, blah-blah-blah) when this appeared on my television/in my inbox/before my disbelieving ears:
"Anybody that says we should blow up this organization should get their own bomb and go blow themselves up," Melnyk said at a press conference on Wednesday.
I'm sure I speak on behalf of most sentient beings possessed of opposable thumbs when I ask, with all due respect Mr. Melnyk...What. The. Fuck?!?!

You, of all people, should have known better. You, who packed a plane full of sticks and nets and jerseys and those gawd awful orange road hockey balls and went to Kandahar twice on behalf of Sens fans, on MY behalf, to shower our troops with reassurances that we had not forgotten them, should have known better. You, who sat with them and listened to stories from people who know a thing or two about your recommended course of action, should have known better.

And I'm sure you know it too. I'm sure you fervently wish you could have snatched the words right out of the air as soon as they left your mouth. And I'm sure you'll never say anything so crass and insensitive. Otherwise, please don't bother doing anything on our behalf ever again.

4 comments:

Down Goes Brown said...

And I'm sure you know it too. I'm sure you fervently wish you could have snatched the words right out of the air as soon as they left your mouth.

Not so sure about that. He made almost the exact same comment with Mendes on Sportsnet during his intermission interview on Tuesday, and then apparently liked it so much he used it againt at the press conference.

Naveed said...

yeah it was a pretty stupid comment from a professional in the public limelight - but lets not blow this out of proportion (pardon the pun =D)

Duff said...

The stupid part was letting his team know that their jobs are safe and they can screw the pooch for the rest of the season.

"Fire them all like Reagan did" is a popular quote around here lately.

Duff said...

...ps 5

Thanks for the suggesting I wear a Ronald Corey wig in MTL...I liked him in Lost Boys by the way.

As far as not wearing pants?...I'm not so sure although my wife said at least I could bring home a few more bagels that way .