Friday, January 30, 2009

Brutal, Putrid, Nauseating, Useless Piles Of Pus Filled Scrotums...Pick One

Jackets 1, Sens...Sweet. Fuck. All.

Dear Bryan,

With the trade deadline approaching and all hope of anything remotely pleasant happening this season, please banish the following wastes of ice time/oxygen to any place where their weak, incompetent, gutless, stick checking asses will suffer the greatest levels of pain and suffering. Like Long Island:

Alexandre Picard
Filip Kuba
Christoph Schubert
Filip Kuba
Either of tonight's officials
Preferably both
Filip Kuba
Alexandre Picard
Carrie Underwood (sorry honey, but you're obviously a distraction)
Whoever you have coaching the power play
Filip Kuba

Creamy middle to follow tomorrow. For now, Sens fans, feel free to drink heavily, refine the list, and, if you're anything like me, go and punch a few nuns.

Jesus Christ...Doesn't anybody know how to play this fucking game???


Canucnik said...

There is yourself and one other blogger (Jeremy), who don't fully appreciate Alex Picard.
(a) Positionally, he is our best defenceman. You could use him as a demo for the kids. Kuba misses him when they are not together. Of course our coaches don't recognize this.
(b) Played beautifully for other teams and broke it out effortlessly for teams that had a 21st century break out sceme.
(c) Super-shooter when given the correct set up, as demonstrated the other night.
(d) Does not get out muscled for the puck very often and is capable to recover the puck when this occurs.
(e) Where he and all our "D" look bad is when they look up and there is absolutely nothing open. Because our forwards are back but are out of position and doing absolutely nothing to help, the good teams know this and are pinching and pressuring. The result is you look terrible if you try to do anything with the puck but ice it.
Alex is a keeper we may have to build around him!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Canucnik: I was promised. After the Mesz trade, I was promised we'd get a guy who would hit, a guy who'd get dirty, a guy who would go a thousand miles an hour all the time. I knew that wasn't Kuba, so it had to be Alex, right? Hasn't happened. The only saving grace to that trade is the fact that Mesz is proving me right when I howled to have him dumped last year.

Picard is young, granted, so I can't say it won't ever happen, but for now, we were sold a bill of goods. He's always lost, he's always out of position and one step behind and he can't stop a stiff breeze. Find me a "keeper" in that, and I will forever be in your debt. Until then, we'll have to agree to disagree.

Clenbuterol said...

The title terrifies!

Host PPH said...

It is quite at title and it starts with the gross feeling and back to Dilbert one of the most funny character.