Thursday, October 4, 2007

Game 1 Sens 4, Laffs 3 (OT): The Good, The Bad, The Creamy Middle


The Good:

  • Well, we won, so that’s something.
  • Gerber looked solid. At least I think that was the gist of Pierre “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW??” McGuire’s breathless analysis. His point about Gerber’s confidence was a little subtle for the casual fan such as myself to grasp. He really should have repeated it eight or nine more times.
  • Heater is on pace to score 168 goals. Projected over the life of his new contract that would be $44,642.86 per goal. Bargain!
  • Wade “The Monster From Lloydminster” Redden! Throwin’ down, and gettin’ bloody! “He was all up in my business yo, and I was all, like YO, chill bitch, befo’ I cap your honkey ass.” Or some such suitably Western Prairie Farmer smack.

The Bad:

  • Wade Redden throwin’ down and gettin’ bloody. Seriously, guys. When Reds is the most emotional guy on the ice, you might want to crank it up a bit. Just saying.
  • Brian McGratten being the most emotional guy OFF the ice. Mr. Paddock, a word please. I know you’re a little rusty at this “Head Coaching” business, but when one of your star defencemen gets into TWO fights, you might want to send a message to the other team that that may not be, perhaps, on the whole, entirely cricket. Please look to your right. Observe the large angry man currently chewing through the boards to get at the offending opponent. Tap said angry man on the back, thus restoring the universe to its natural harmonic balance. Thank you.
  • JAAAAYSSONNNNN!!!( In the manner of Fred Flinstone’s WILLLLMAAA!) What on God’s green earth will it take, to make you stop THROWING THE FUCKING PUCK THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN FUCKING ZONE??? Maybe we can try some kind of electro shock therapy, because nothing else is working. Every time you do it, 50,000 volts goes shooting through your junk.

The Creamy Middle:

Up next, well-well, if it isn’t the Leafs again. This time at home, and this time with the full CBC HNIC treatment. I’m predicting the boys will come out with a little more jump in their legs tonight. I’m also predicting that Mssrs. Newbury and Battaglia would do well to watch their backs. I also hear there may be a small ceremony before the game, possibly involving a banner of some sort. I have no idea whatever what that could be.

Be safe kids! Enjoy the rematch. If you're of a mind, head over to the always entertaining game thread at Battle of Ontario. Or, at the very least, do what I'll be doing. Take a shot every time Bob Cole screws up a name.

Go Sens Go!!

3 comments:

Sherry said...

Wade “The Monster From Lloydminster” Redden! Throwin’ down, and gettin’ bloody! “He was all up in my business yo, and I was all, like YO, chill bitch, befo’ I cap your honkey ass.” Or some such suitably Western Prairie Farmer smack.

I think you might have 'Western Prairie' confused with 'inner city'.

(still, hilarious though)

Senators Lost Cojones said...

I was just trying to give our boy some badly needed street cred. Well, that, and I found the image of the whitest, straightest laced, mom-and apple-pie player on the team going gangsta-thug too funny to resist.

It's the BIB BAD BESSY with the M-I-L-K...

Sherry said...

See, I always figured that title belonged to Patrick Eaves, but I see your point.

Man, what I wouldn't give to hear Redden (or any of the Senators save for Emery) say that.