Wednesday, July 25, 2007

What Happens In Lutsen, Stays In Lutsen

Well, it was inevitable really. We've all seen it. We've all read about it. A group of young, rich celebrities looking to have a good time in a party town take things too far and before you know it, old people get upset, phone calls are made, and once promising careers are tarnished. The next thing you know, your mugshot appears on The Smoking Gun, and your lawyer sends you to rehab where you spend the next 90 days fighting off rather bizarre sexual advances from one "Ell Lohen". Two of the Staal brothers have been arrested. At Eric's bachelor party:

LUTSEN, Minn. (CP-AP) - Brothers Eric Staal of the Carolina Hurricanes and Jordan Staal of the Pittsburgh Penguins were among 14 people arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after a weekend party.

Seeing as my bachelor party consisted mostly of an exchange of crafting ideas and a discussion of Proust's A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu over cups of tea (yes, that's right my Beloved. Just like I told you. Tea. No brass poles or Jello shooters to be found), a group of 20 youngsters screaming, yelling and playing loud music would certainly lead me to believe that the Apocalypse was upon us. And I would hope that the authorities would act with a firm hand to quell such anarchy.
The group was warned by police around 12:50 a.m. to quiet down ''or they may be removed from the property, issued citations/arrested, and/or deported from the country.''
So let that be a lesson to you young man! Whether they write you a $13 fine while ordering you to vacate the premises and spend the rest of the night at the IHOP sobering up, or throw you out of the country, the police are not to be trifled with! You will respect them! Now get the hell off my lawn.
Oh, and the Sutter brothers called. They said until you can tip a whole cow over, you're still strictly bush league.
p.s: thanks to NHL Fanhouse, via Scarlett Ice for the mugshots.


KMS2 said...

Ell Lohen

Good one. I like to call her "L Blohan"

Twitch said...

KMS2: Nice! That's so much more accurate.

We can call her anything we want, as long as we don't call her late for happy hour.