Sunday, July 1, 2007

Happy Free Agent Day Canada! Please Spend Responsibly.

In its continuing effort to prove to Canadians that the NHL does in fact care for and value its largest and most loyal fan base, Gary's Gang has bestowed upon us, the Canadian fan, a great gift.

When gazing across the desolate moonscape that is the off-season calendar, it was decided by those Wise Men in New York that the annual livestock auction known as "The Opening Of Free Agency" would be held on a day when Canadian's attentions would not be distracted by superfluous events. In no way would external influences be allowed to tear us away from our blogs, our internets, our radios or our television sets. "Allow their full attentions to be paid to this, the eighth or ninth most important day of our season!", they cried. "Maximize the hype and spin. Wall-to-wall coverage! Show them we love them!" the marketroaches added. And lo, it came to pass that a day that rivals the trade deadline for Canadian water cooler talk and navel gazing shall be fixed on...a Sunday afternoon. A Sunday afternoon that was also July 1st. Canada Day.

So thanks guys. We could not have received a more thoughtful gift for our Nation's 140th birthday than to be forced to choose between a beautiful long week-end outdoors with our fellow countrymen and being yelled at by Pierre McGuire.

As for me, the cooler is packed, the steaks are marinating and the margaritas are blending. If you're lucky Gary, the folks now out on my back deck might, might talk a little hockey at some point between the fourth bottle of Cave Springs 2005 semi-dry Riesling and the fireworks show down on the waterfront. Maybe. Then again, tomorrow is a stat holiday too.

Happy Canada Day everyone!


Deg Racer said...

I am still sitting here on my funky ass NHLPA approved Pete Mahovolich Beach Towel circa 1974 and cannot for the life of me figure out why the three hour show I taped while watching live, watched tape of, watched tape of again had no cause big signings......but I got to listen to Darren 'The Dregs' Dregger use that voice that causes even his own mom to say...'Drop the smug have one source with the Leafs.....why the smug shit?'

The show needed ottawa's own.....Broooce Garrioch....course you would need a beer sponsor...

Hits and misses,


Twitch said...

On the other hand, I'm sure Dregger's mom is very proud of her son's ability to stare intently into his Blackberry on air, pretending that HUGE BREAKING NEWS is being emailed directly to him.

I'm pretty sure he was just downloading porn. That's what I'd be doing.

Twitch said...

And you gotta tell me were to get a Pete Mahovolich beach towel, if only so I can use it to chat up hotties. "Yeah, I'm ALL about the 70's baby. Wanna see my 'pet rock'?"