Now, I Don't Mean To Alarm Anyone...

• The Toronto Maple Marlies sit two points ahead of the Ottawa Senators in the Division...
• We currently find ourselves mired in 13th in the Conference...
• We currently find ourselves a scant one point from being the worst team in all of hockey...

So what does it all mean? It means I'm busting out my parachute pants and digging my silk shirts out of storage...IT'S 1993, KIDS! WHEE! Can't touch this!

Of course, none of that matters tonight.

Have I mentioned I'm a Washington Redskins fanatic? No? Well, I am. Stupidly so. No, really. I'm giving serious consideration to naming my first born "Riggo". Even if it's a girl (Beloved has some strong feelings on the subject...damn Cheese Heads). If I ever win the lottery the first thing I'd do is buy season tickets and fly to D.C. for every game.

Now, considering how the 'Skins have performed for the last...oh...15 years, this little fact has left me open to no small amount of ridicule (hellooooo...Erin. Check the standings lately?). But no matter how badly my 'Skins sucked, no matter how hopeless things looked after yet another 4-12 season, only one thing mattered...Did they beat the Cowboys?

Welcome back to the Battle of Ontario. No matter how bad this season gets (and it's shaping up to be extremely unpleasant), come April, only one thing will matter to me...Did we beat the Leafs?

Nothing else matters, boys. Curbstomp those bitches.