Monday, June 9, 2008

Let This Be A Lesson Young Man: Octogenarian Composers Are Not People With Whom One Should Trifle

Pic swiped from the CBC website. Since they were giving everything else away today, I didn't want to feel left out.

Well, that was certainly a tidy bit of business, wasn't it Scott? You must be exhausted. You should go home and relax a little. You know, loosen your tie. Fix yourself a drink. Sit quietly alone, contemplating a hard day's work. Smash yourself repeatedly between the eyes with a blunt object...

I'm told the kids have a word for what happened to you. It may well have fallen out of fashion, I don't know. It's so hard to keep up with the latest trends, isn't it? Tsk...public opinion is just so hard to gauge sometimes, am I right?

Anyway, as I said, there is a word, the perfect word for what transpired: You got pwned. It means, according to the Urban Dictionary, "to be dominated by an opponent or situation, especially by some god-like force." That "god-like force" Scott, was the CTV Network.

In the likely chance that you remain confused as to the thrust of my argument, I'll put it another way. You were just violently sodomized in the mother of all metaphorical prison rapes. And you brought it on all by yourself. Don't believe me? Check out the language CTV used in its press release. Try not to trip over the gloat...
CTV Inc. has acquired all rights to 'The Hockey Theme' in perpetuity, preserving the song's legacy and ensuring it will be heard on national television for years to come..."It's an honour and a privilege to own such a cherished piece of Canadiana." said Rick Brace, President, Revenue, Business Planning and Sports, CTV Inc.
Yikes. "It's an honour and privilege to own such a cherished piece of Canadiana". If you listen really close Scott, you can almost hear the PR staff in the background, yelling "HAH! LOOOOSERS!" between the pop of champagne corks.

And I really must commend you on the grace and class with which you took your mean, "business reversal"...
"Hockey is a game, it's not a song," Moore said. "We have the No. 1 sports property in Canada. I don't expect one less viewer to tune in on Saturday to watch Hockey Night in Canada. They will continue to watch their favourite team."
Moore said he was surprised a rival network would purchase something so inextricably linked to the Hockey Night brand. "It's a constant commercial for our network," he said.
Neat trick, that. Calling it just "a song" while at the same time expressing shock that someone else would steal it out from under you because it's such a valuable and "inextricable" part of your "brand". But I suppose "Oh YEAH?!?!? I know YOU are, but what am I??" didn't make it out of draft.

And as for being "surprised a rival network would purchase something so inextricably linked to the Hockey Night brand" you're literally a day late and several million dollars short on that one. Not that anybody tried to tell you of course.

CTV Saves 'The Hockey Theme Song' []
CTV Purchases The Hockey Theme []

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