Craig Hartsburg! I Am All A-Quiver With Undecided Apathy!

Photo courtesy of Sean Kilpatrick/The Canadian Press/AP Photo.

As we shed a single tear watching Pat Burns and his oncological sidekick ride off into the sunset, headed we know not where...but the smart money is on Lou "Fish Eye" Lamiarello's buffet table... let us welcome Craig Hartsburg, newly minted Grand Chief Whistle Dude of your Ottawa Senators.

While it is true that most of Craig's head coaching experience involves keeping pubescent boys from drinking illegally and catching the clap from Russian hookers, the first second fourth first third first choice of the Ottawa sporting media does have two WJHC gold medals on his resume, so that's something. And while one could make the argument that a poo-flinging simian would have won two gold medals with the talent on those Championship teams, we won't here for fear of being seen as an ungracious host.

So what does Craig bring to the table? In a word, "accountability". No really. He said so himself. Twice:

''Early in this whole thing, the players will see that there's a plan and we're certainly here as coaches to motivate the players to follow the plan. And then if the plan is not followed, there will certainly be accountability,'' Hartsburg said. ''I don't want to get into specifics, but trust me, there will be accountability. It'll be black and white. They'll know what's right and what's wrong and they'll know there's a line not to cross.'' (Ed. note: Pssst...Jason. I think he's talking to you. Has to be. Wade and Rayzor are history.)

And as long as some of those "specifics" involve two hour bag skates after lousy efforts and the occasional cattle prod to the groin of those who can't find the corners, I'm right there with you buddy!

So welcome to the fish bowl Craig! We're happy to have you aboard, and wish you nothing but the best! For now. But the first time you triple shift Alfie to get yourself out of a jam, I'm ripping you to pieces. Just thought I should make that clear. You're not in the Sault anymore.