Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Game 14: Sens 5, Latest Victims 1 -- The Creamy Middle


In thoughtful response to my guest appearance over at Pension Plan Puppets, witty and erudite commenter, LeoSC saw fit to post the following: "just wait till tonight!". Um...Leo? I'm still waiting. Leo? You there? Hello! Is this thing on?

The Highs:
  • Does this mean we have to play the rest of our games at the Hockey Hall of Fame?: 13-1 and proud holders of a new league record! Now there's been some crazy talk around these here interwebs that this year's Sens team may equal, or even surpass the all time win record set by the 1976 Montreal Canadiens. That team lost all of eight games on route to a 136 point season. With a clear head, and unimpeachable logic, I will endeavour to expound on this in a future post, but for now ladies and gentlemen, allow me to state the following with neither qualm nor reservation: IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN SO EVERYBODY SHOULD JUST CALM THE FUCK DOWN! Thank you. As you were.

  • Ladies and Gentlemen, Vessa has left the building: For those of us not fortunate enough to have erased the memory engrams through the self-administration of enormous quantities of alcohol, watching Vessa Toskala skulk to the bench after having given up his 4th goal on 12 shots was sweet indeed. The days of manhandling a vastly inferior Leaf team only to have guys like Belfour and Joseph stand on their heads and beat us seem to have been relegated to the dustbin of history, right next to Gary Roberts' ghost and Mats Sundin's dignity.

  • Look up. Look waaaaaaaay up: I get to use the picture you see above. I think I'll have that airbrushed on the hood of my car, 70's poon-van style. All it needs is a buxom, leather-clad Amazonian warrior princess holding a white tiger on a chain.

The Lows:

  • Hey, why is your picture on a milk carton?: Memo to Joe Corvo. Please observe the gigantic contracts being signed all about you. Now calculate the impact of those signings vis-a-vis the salary cap in the coming years. Next, examine your own salary in relation to said cap. Finally, review the level of your own play in the first 14 games. Please ensure personal affairs are in order for a late February departure.


  • Sleep Mercy is for the weak, Abu!: Did Troy ease up on Athens? Hell no. Did Nelson turn to the Spanish at Trafalgar and say, "Oh dear. Terribly sorry old man. Sherry?" No fucking way! They not only defeated their enemies, but they crushed them, ground their bones into dust and displayed the eviscerated corpses as a warning to others that "WE ARE NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH!" In short, they removed the very will to exist from those enemies, their families and their countrymen. So, remind me again Coach P., exactly why we got off the gas after the 4-0 goal?


  • Your shower Bubba ain't gonna take to kindly to that: Hey Mark! That was a classy piece of work there, suckering Chris Neil with under a minute to go and then running behind the linesman. Noticed you had your gloves on too. Very nice. But a word of caution: Your "friends" out in the yard, 155 days hence, probably won't view that as very heroic. Fellow inmates can be bitches that way.

The Creamy Middle: While I could go on ad infinitum about the sweetness of last night's humiliation, I'll let ESPN (tWWL for you Deadspinners) take it home:

The Senators improved to 15-2-2 in their last 19 games against their provincial rivals, including wins on consecutive nights to begin the season.

Oh, and as a final shout-out to my friend LeoSC, in response to your cutting analysis that "The bully will still beat the shit out of you, just wait till spring!", I can only add...No. Not so much.

Up Next: The Caps come a callin' at the Bank tomorrow night. While "Battle of the Nation's Capitals!" doesn't have quite the same ring to it, at least it promises to be more of a challenge. They've got this Russian kid you see. I hear he's pretty good.

Senators win eighth straight, off to best start in NHL history [ESPN.com]

13 comments:

PPP said...

Funny that everyone else on the planet had the opposite interpretation of Mark Bell's attempt to make Chris Neil stand up for his chickenshit behaviour.

Bell better look out though I guess. He wouldn't want to be Drury'd by another Neil clean hit.

p.s. leave my dad alone!

Jaredoflondon said...

just wait till NEXT game, yeah thats right I said it.

PPP said...

And remember, FOUR TIMES IN A ROW!

WRowanH said...

I'm mostly remembering 40 seasons in a row.

19-67! 19-67!

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Jared and PPP: You are both to be lauded for your loyalty, however misguided it may be. Can I buy you a beer? ;)

WRowanH: A vastly under appreciated chant, I'm afraid. And excellent user name BTW.

HabsFan29 said...

That graphic is going to be used on the interwebs by every Canadian-based team blog til the end of time

Id love to say more but I am still embarassed about that Saturday night loss. Fortunately, I am busy watching Price save the franchise.

SLC youre reverence of the 60-8-12 record is admirable and respectful. Something Leafs fans will never be. ONE home loss! That still freaks me out.

PPP said...

Yeah, Habs fans have tonnes of respect (Richard Riots) and admiration (1993 riots).

Now do the chant about when the sens last won a Stanley Cup...*crickets*...

Habsfan10 said...

ppp, you're awfully testy for a Friday morning. It's Friday! The weekend is upon us!

About those riots: The Richard Riot was an unfortunate yet almost understandable reaction to what Montrealers perceived as Clarence Campbell's anti-French, anti-Richard, anti-Habs bias. Campbell clearly didn't help matters by obstinately going to the Forum for the next Richard-less game; It was a sad episode all around but I'm not sure what respect for a very impressive NHL record has to do with it. As for 1993, Big win + booze = stupidity.

Now, given that in their relatively short existence the Sens have made one more Cup final than Toronto, and that 23 different franchises have been in the finals since your last appearance (14 different winners), it's probably not your strongest argument.

PPP said...

Understandable doesn't make it right ;) but I would let 1993 slide because if the Leafs ever win a Cup in my lifetime Toronto will burn to the ground.

Ah, the old 'the sens made it to the finals and the leafs haven't' argument. Congratulations to them on winning nothing. Not to mention that they didn't beat the Leafs in a series so the entire appearance is void.

I'd also reiterate that both teams have the same amount of Stanley Cup wins since 1967. Now Habs fans can sing that song because their team has earned it. (Vomit).

One more hour to the weekend though H10 ;)

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Ah, the old 'the sens made it to the finals and the leafs haven't' argument. Congratulations to them on winning nothing.

Um...there's a new banner hanging from the Bank's rafters that begs to differ. Comes with a pretty trophy too. Just sayin...

Ahem...the Chair now recognizes...

LeoSC said...

19 67? it's 19 27! 19 27!
You see, being in the final doesn't count. And the only reason your team got there in 2007 is because the great "bully" was taking a break.

PPP said...

It's a losers banner. Of course when that's all your team has won in its history...

LeoSC said...

The banner... when that's all you can hang...