Monday, November 19, 2007

A Pre-Emptive Apology to the Friends and Family of Larry Robinson

As Four Habs Fans has been reminding the hockey world all day, your favourite son’s number 19 jersey is finally being lifted to the rafters tonight, to take its rightful place amongst the true giants in the history of your storied franchise. On an occasion as well deserved and momentous as this, I am reminded of the wise words of one of England’s most mediocre greatest Kings, Edward the Penitent: “We’re really, really, really, really sorry.”

It’s not like we set out to ruin Larry’s night. We didn’t look at the schedule back in April and say “Hmmm...Retiring Robinson’s number? Time for a good old-fashioned curb stomp boys!” A combination of scheduling fate, a fluke loss and Darcy Tucker’s asshatery brought us to this unfortunate pass. I’m sure I speak for absolutely nobody when I say that had the Leafs not beaten us, the Senators would, to honour the occasion, be happy to grant the Habs a chance at victory so that Larry’s big night could be celebrated in style. We would be the Washington Generals to your Globetrotters. The Curly to your Moe. The France to your…er…everybody. We would call up the entire farm team. Send Golden Groin, Alfie, Heater, Fish, Darth Gerber and Philichenkov to Chez Paree with a dump truck full of money and orders not to emerge until a minimum of three strippers have been impregnated. We would have been happy to play along. But alas, as you know, we don't lose two in a row, so this cannot be.

So it is with a heavy heart that I extend this apology on behalf of the Ottawa Senators and their Legion of supporters. We’re sorry. We really are. this is know...we kinda want the points.


HabsFan29 said...

very calssy, sir. on behalf of the Robinson clan we accept your apology

but maybe Darth Gerber will come down to Earth [hopes, hopes...]

PPP said...

Jesus SLC. You just never learn. What total BS.

The French, once upon a time, were a revered warring nation with a proud history of conquering armies from Charlemagne the Great to Napoleon and you should be ashamed for tarnishing their lumping them in with every surrendering pansy born since Napoleon was sent to St. Elba.

Ok, I guess you were spot on ;)

I am guessing that the sens stuck around for the ceremony because they knew that the upcoming beating of the Habs would ruin the night. Nice guys.

Now if the Sabres can beat them twice and the Isles we can stop hearing about the surprise Canadiens.