Leafs 4, Sens 3 (OT): I Am DONE With Jason Spezza

Take him. I don't give a rat's ass what the hell you offer us, just take him. I have had it.

Eight years...EIGHT...since you were drafted. Fifth year in the Bigs. Eight million a year. And you're still an idiotic, uncoachable, infuriating waste of ice time I wouldn't trust to look after my dog. Ever wonder why your name never comes up when people talk about the leaders on this team? Watch this tape. Then watch a tape from your rookie year. You remember that one, right? That was the year you bitched and whined because Jacques Martin said you were a boy playing in a man's league. What do you see? That's right. You see the same mistakes over and over and over again. EIGHT GODDAMN YEARS!!

So which is it, Princess? Do you just not care? Or is it because you're about as smart as a bag of fucking rocks? Are you lazy, or are you stupid? My money is on both.

We lost, and it's your fault. We lost to THE FUCKING LEAFS!! And it's all on you. Thanks for that. Not content with taking two lazy ass hooking penalties, the last of which cost us the tying goal, you have to go an put one IN OUR OWN FUCKING NET!! The HELL?!? We don't have enough problems, you have to go and score on your own guys??

Fuck you, Jason. Eat it. Eat it, and get the hell out. Bryan, trade this piece of crap for everything you can get. Time to lance this fucking boil.

Laffs 3, Sens 1: Our Long National Nightmare Continues

Hey, on the upside, we're that much closer to having to do this.

The High:

• Futility has rarely looked so beautiful: Damn, Fish. You were everywhere. You were banging. You were shooting. You were hitting posts. When all those about you were losing their heads, you kept yours about you, said "Fuck that shit" and smeared somebody in blue. In other words you did everything humanly possible to win this game short of...um...scoring. Natch. I am really, really going to miss you Mike.
  

The Lows:

• Dearest Alexandre, how do I loathe thee? Let us count the ways: Aside from the usual brainfarts, crap passes, weak ass stick checks and being caught hopelessly out of position... 1) Perhaps the best strategy for a 5-on-3 advantage is to NOT shoot the puck in such a way as to miss the net by twelve feet, banking it off the back boards at roughly Mach 4, thus causing it to careen wildly back into our own end, killing the powerplay. Just sayin'. 2) Hey, Alex...you may want to...um, look out for...Blake's coming...just keep an eye on...he's trying the wrap...WHERE THE HOLY SHITFUCK ARE YOU????
  

• 1 billion Chinese, and the entire coaching staff, can't be wrong: Hey Schube, remember how you spent most of training camp and the first six weeks of the season pouting like a twelve year old girl because you wanted to play on the D instead of being a fourth line forward? Yeah, sure you do. So here's what you do. Watch this game tape, oh...a couple of dozen times. Pay particular attention to the third period, wherein the final two Leaf goals were a direct result of you shitting the bed. Issue apologies as necessary.
  

• Can't anybody play this game?: Sticking with the general defensive theme, it is a rare thing indeed for three defencemen to record a -1 on the same goal. And yet, just when we Sens fans had thought we had seen everything that could possibly go disastrously, putridly wrong this season, we were treated to the sight of just that. Kuba coughs up the puck on the half boards (as is his wont), squirting it toward the Ottawa net at roughly three miles per hour as both Gator and A-Train flail helplessly. One Dominic Moore goal later, the trifecta is complete, the game is tied and I'm pining for Steve Duschesne and Karl Rachunek.
  

The Creamy Middle:

THIS FEATURE IS DISCONTINUED PENDING THE AUTHOR'S ABILITY TO FIND NEW WAYS TO APPLY COSMETICS TO PORCINE LIPS.

Pithy Observations of Questionable Importance:

• Ron Jeremy remains unimpressed: It only makes sense that Ryan Hollweg would be sporting that ridiculous porn 'stache. He is, after all, best known for inarticulate grunting and slamming less than willing co-stars opponents from behind.
  

• God, I'm such a hopeless sap: It started in Edmonton during their Cup run, and it was awesome. Hell, we even did it in the Finals. And it happened again tonight in Toronto (and Ottawa...SUCK IT RUSSKIES!!). No matter how hokey or how contrived it may be, hearing 20,000 hockey fans sing Oh Canada acapella chokes me up every freaking time. Even if it's Leaf fans doing the singing.
  

• On the flip side of that...: You would be hard pressed to find anybody who supports our troops more than I do (it's why Her Majesty pays me, after all) but at the risk of being branded a pinko commie terrorist lover who eats kittens in his spare time, I have to ask. Am I the only one getting a little unnerved with Don Cherry trotting out our latest Afghan casualties for some special Coach's Corner love? Tonight's episode featured the usual guttural "I'm trying really hard not to cry" noises from His Grapeness, but with the added bonus of some wedding pictures featuring the unfortunate widow. Don, your "I don't usually do this" disclaimer aside, you're getting a little further away from "honour" and much closer to "schtick" than I'm comfortable with.
  

Up Next:

Our road trip from hell continues tomorrow night in the leafy, totally bucolic and absolutely crime free heart of Newark, New Jersey. At least Fish will have an excuse for wearing his Thug Toque to the rink. He's just trying to blend in with the locals. (5:00pm, TSN)

Behind Enemy Lines:

Say hello to Interchangeable Parts, knowledgeable to the extreme, a fantastic source of all things Devils AND stupidly entertaining. Hockey loving women who can write. Now that is several varieties of hot.

Sens 2, Leafs 1 (SO): The Burke Era Begins As Swimingly As One Would Expect

Photograph by : Wayne Cuddington, The Ottawa Citizen

Yes, I realize I had promised to post this yesterday. But in order to give my title any kind of credence, I had to wait for the Conclave to finally release the white smoke from the chimneys of the ACC. Anybody else fairly certain that Richard Peddie goes commando under those cardinal's robes?

The Highs:

• Holy crap! So THAT's how it works: It's been so long since we've seen it that I had completely forgotten the fact that, through what I'm sure is some crazy oversight by the Rules Committee, it is technically possible for the Ottawa Senators to garner a second point by way of the shootout. Something else that had slipped my mind: It's only a gimmick if you lose.
  

• Maybe we'll hold off on the boots and hand bag idea: Something SALE said to me in the live blog gave me pause. "Oh SLC, I'm glad you have something good to say about Smith again." Now, I'll admit, perhaps my expectations were rather high following the Smith signing. But what I hadn't expected (nor have I enjoyed) were the six weeks of relative invisibility to start the season. So when I see glimpses of the Gator I thought we were getting, I definitely feel the need to point them out here. If only for Meaghan's sake.
  

• Gerber WHO?: I have no idea how long he'll be able to pull it off (mostly because he's never managed it before), but The Auldinator reminds us what it's like to have a money goalie protecting a one goal lead. I found the lack of anxiety induced heart palpitations, normally associated with every opposing forward's rush up ice from the middle of the second period on, rather comforting.
  

• Well, at least it wasn't a backup: I'd be remiss if I didn't give a brief, albeit extremely grudging, shout out to Vesa Toskala. Without him, this game is over by the end of the second and our live blog is dead in the water as Leafs Nation stampedes for the exits. But if I could ask one small favour Toska...the next time you want to follow six weeks of suck by channelling the spirit of Johnny Bower, would you mind not doing it against us?
  

The Low:

• This should never be seen in print anywhere, ever again: From the Citizen's game story..."Just 59 seconds later, Mikhail Grabovski outmuscled Chris Phillips, skated out on the right side of the Ottawa net and passed across the crease to Kulemin, who was heading toward the left post. He had no problem. Room service." 'Nuff said.

The Creamy Middle:

Say it with me, kids. Every. Point. Counts. So there's that.

I don't know if it was the lack of animosity between two rivals on the ice (Roto Ruutu's welcomed efforts to the contrary notwithstanding), the fact that I've been more concerned with our own team's problems than I have been with poking a detestable arch-enemy in the eye, or if the surprising level of civility in a live blog involving both Sens and Leaf fans caught me off guard, but I wasn't as emotional about this chapter of the Battle of Ontario as I normally would be. Seriously. I didn't get to swing the Ban Hammer even once during the entire game. Where's the fun in that? C'mon Laffers. You can do better. See you on the 9th.

Pithy Observation of Some As Yet Undetermined Importance:

This has nothing to do with this game in particular, but everything to do with those of us who are passionate about The Game in general. It seems Wrap Around Curl, damn fine writer and friend of FFS, is having some difficulties with the pencil necked corporate cockroaches who run the Spokane Chiefs, defending Memorial Cup champs and the object of WAC's delightfully obsessive affection.

Putting aside the usual and extremely tedious "MSM vs. Blog/Internet/New Media" cock fight, I ask the question: why on God's green earth would a junior hockey team play the heavy and wave the lawyer card in the name of "image control" at a blog that gives that same team more exposure to more people across the entire continent, and no cost to them I should add, than a thousand marketing monkeys could ever hope to do in a thousand years? And more important, what happens to sites like hers, or mine, or any of the thousands of fan-generated blogs across all sports should the Chiefs get away with it? I feel a Sunday Soapbox coming on.

Up Next:

Once again, our travelling circus of panic and frustration takes us to Long Island for a date with the Islanders. Television coverage? Zippo. Nothing. Not a sausage...Bugger all. Am I at all disappointed with this? Considering the way we've played against them so far this year, not in the absolute fucking slightest.

Leafs 5, Choking Pig Dogs 4 -- Please Pass The Mashed Potatoes. It's Next To The Kick In The Scrotum

I didn't get to see much of this game, so I guess I should be thankful. We sat down at our friends' dinner table just after Alfie's goal to make it 1-0. Before that, the boys were flying around, intent on crushing anyone and anything clad in blue and white and generally making Toskala's life a living hell. So as I tucked into my roast chicken (delicious!) I was positively giddy with the certainty that this game was pretty much done, and we'd once again make the Laffs our bitches, pound Darcy Fucking Tucker into paste and make Paul Maurice cry like a girl.

Um...right. By the time the desert dishes were cleared (chocolate fondue...also delicious!) and I could turn the t.v. on again, it was 4-4. Thirty seconds later, the Leafs score the winner and Bob Cole is (gleefully? Was that glee, Bob? I'm pretty sure it was glee.) telling one and all that the Sens had blown yet another two goal lead. Then I got drunk.

It's a tossup as to whether the nausea, aches, cold sweats, head spins and soul destroying sense of helpless outrage I'm feeling right now are the result of way to much plonk, or that familiar and ever so sickening reaction to losing a fourth straight game to THEM in what amounted to a playoff game two weeks early.

So I'm going to go lay down now. If I'm feeling better in a couple of hours, it was the wine. But I doubt it.

Somebody Get Me An Umlaut! I Want To Tell Foppa To Go Screw Himself!

As we moisten our loins in anticipation of tonight's reminder to Mats of why he probably should have waived his no trade clause, we would like to take a moment and congratulate Peter Forsberg on his miraculous recovery from his debilitating injury.

The Colorado Avalanche have won the 'Peter Forsberg sweepstakes', signing the centre to a one-year deal to return to the team for the rest of the season.

I'm sure I speak for a majority of Senators fans when I wish you all the best, Foppa. You could have had it all, but you turned us down, while hiding behind a weak ass excuse about "not feeling ready". That said, I have the sneaking suspicion that you may miss us more than we'll miss you. But please, by all means, do enjoy the first round. Cock tease.

On another, much happier note, there is something rather exciting coming down the pipe for your humble scribe. While I don't want to give too much away for fear of jinxing it (kind of like uttering the word "shutout" in a scoreless game), here's a hint.

Go Sens Go!

Forsberg returns to NHL with Avalanche [TSN.ca]

Come Here Boy! I Have A Treat For You. It's Just Out Behind This Barn

All those who had January 22nd in the JFJ death pool, please form an orderly line to the left in order to make the process of collecting as smooth as possible. Thank you.

Well, it's done. The wicked witch of Southern Ontario has finally been vanquished, Lake Ontario shall part, all will now be goodness and light, dogs and cats will now lay down together and the Leafs will now immediately vault into playoff contention, thus restoring order to the (centre of the) Universe. Right? Isn't that how it's supposed to work? Um, not so much:

"The key here is to initially start the process to move the club ahead to the next level so that it can compete with all the top teams in the league, which will eventually lead to the playoff success."

"The first step will be to meet with all the people involved in the hockey department here," Fletcher said. "I'm looking forward to their input on how they see the internal operation of the hockey team here and how they see the club moving forward."

Now, despite my service to Queen and Country, I'm not quite fluent in Corps-Speak as your new "interim" Septuagenarian General Manager, but that reads to me like: "Um...thanks for the job. I have to figure out exactly how many of the 87 MLSE corporate officers I actually report to. But in the meantime, I'll work hard to think about ways in which we might be able to put a working group together in order to recommend a course of action that may result in an actual plan. And I like pudding!"

Now, I have to go, because, you know, I'm watching a real hockey team play Florida right now. But I'd like to assure everybody that I will be fully mining today's press conference for all of its comedic goodness in the next few days (and at first glance, there are many many delicious layers). But in the meantime, on behalf of most, if not all Canadian hockey fans who don't bleed blue and white, I'd like to assure Leaf Nation of my complete sincerity when I say: "Finally!! Holy crap, can we move on now? Please?"

We Now Bring You A Very Special Message To Leaf Nation

Before I get started, please allow me to apologize to you both (Hi Mom!) for not posting the Creamy Middle of last night's 5-1 curb stomp of the Hartolina Whalicans. While I may get to it before tomorrow's game against Tampa, truth be told, it was a pretty boring affair against a rapidly tanking team, with very little to recommend it safe The Captain's wonky hip and Paddy Eaves' rather interesting follicular fashion statement (I hereby dub thee Ghengis Eaves! Or maybe Patrick Khan. Which would you prefer? Seriously, I had a whole riff on him all set to go, with furry hats and everything). I promise I will get back to my usual dick jokes in the coming days.

No, what I'd like to talk to you about this evening is something altogether more serious. More insidious. And really, really, really fucking infuriating. Gather 'round and hold hands children, as I take you into the dark and scary world that is the mind of the hard core fan of that most Evil of Empires, the Toronto Maple Leafs.

First a little background. Earlier today, I got into an increasingly heated email exchange with a good friend of mine about the nature of the Leafs, the Sens and their respective fan bases. Well, when I say "heated" I mean as belligerent as one can get when the only means of expressing one's outrage is the liberal use of CAPS, bold fonts and the ever popular @#^%$ you, you $%#@ing idiot!! We were using company email, after all.

Anyway, our discussion centered around an acquaintance of his (Leaf fan) who put forward an opinion (an opinion with which my friend agreed, I should add...hence the repeated use of the ampersand-exclamation point combo) about the nature of Sens Army which I'm starting to hear more and more often from the Nation as the Leafs' season swirls deeper into the shitter. Basically it goes something like this:

We're better fans than you, because we've stuck it out through 40 years of losing without abandoning our team. Everybody knows that Ottawa fans aren't real fans since they loved other teams, mostly Toronto, before the Senators were reinstated in 1992, and as soon as it gets bad in Ottawa, all the fair weather Sens fans will drop the team like a disease ridden Vietnamese whore. Therefore, we're still better than you. WOO! WE'RE THE BESTEST FANS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD !! (insert sound of two million packets of Kool-Aid opening simultaneously here)

In fact, here is a slightly edited transcript of what my friend told me was his paraphrasing of what his acquaintance may have said. Or something like that:

Will Ottawa fans still support their team when they end up not making the playoffs? They call for heads during three-game losing streaks in this town, imagine if they didn't make the playoffs? How would season tickets sell the following year? Imagine if it happened two years in a row, would the fans have the patience to endure it? My team is doing poorly now, yes they are and I admit it and they haven't been a very good team for the majority of the time I've cheered for them over the past 40 years. But I still support them. When your team meets this hardship, tell me who you are cheering for then.

There are two things about this statement that should infuriate the living shit out of all right thinking Sens fans (or fans of any other Canadian team for that matter), the first tying directly into the second. The first is this: Where the hell does Leaf Nation get off thinking that their martyr complex somehow makes them better "fans" than anybody else, that they "care" more and therefore have the right to lord some twisted sense of loyalty over the rest of us? Why, because we won't put up with 40 years of corrupt and inept management? Because when we see something wrong, we don't act like fucking sheep, hand over our credit cards and say "Gee...I hope it gets better next year" knowing in our heart of hearts that it never will?

But here's the second half to that argument, and the rub that Leaf Nation doesn't want to hear. Maybe, just maybe now, if Leaf fans hadn't been so "wonderful" over the years, so supportive, so fucking loyal things wouldn't have sunk this low. Maybe there wouldn't have been the Ballard years (or at least they wouldn't have lasted as long). If the fans had stayed away, stopped buying the jerseys, for the love of God, stop being such almighty assholes, then maybe there wouldn't have been 40 years of wandering in a Cup-less desert. And maybe, just maybe, the current ownership abortion would have wised up long ago instead of using Leaf Nation as the passive cash cow it so obviously is. As it stands, why the hell should they do something to improve the team? As long as the Nation keeps opening their wallets in a masturbatory frenzy over everything and anything blue and white, the money just keeps rolling in. Here it is Leaf fans, as plain and direct as I can possibly state it: MLSE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU OR YOUR TEAM and the quicker you all wise up to that, the quicker things will change. The only thing they want is your money. As long as your willing to give it to them, you will never, ever, come close to winning anything.

What you would call "abandoning the team" is, in actual fact more accurately labeled as "not putting up with stupid shit from management". Habs fans are notorious for getting on their team for the slightest transgressions. You call it "fair weather". I'd call it a higher standard. And those 24 Cup banners hanging from the Phone Booth's rafters win that argument rather convincingly.

Yes, we know, Leaf fans, there will come a day when the Senators won't be Cup contenders. There may even come a day when they won't be very competitive either. We know that. These things are cyclical, and lord knows we've been through it before (see: Expansion years; League sodomy). But I'm extremely confident we will never allow OUR team to sink to the same depths of craptacular ineptitude as you've allowed. And we'll do that by withholding our financial support if we don't like where things are going, confident that team management will hear our message and act accordingly.

But we'll keep cheering, Mr. Red Fonted Blockquote. And to the rest of you in the Nation, rest assured that if and when things go bad, we'll keep cheering for OUR Ottawa Senators. But what we won't do, will never do, is roll over and just take it up the ass for the "privilege" of having a pro hockey team. And if that seems utterly incomprehensible to you, well, all I can say is that I feel sorry for all of you. Oh, and suck it.

Sundin Grants Rare Glimpse Inside Leafs Dressing Room

I, Larry Tannenbaum, would like to assure Leaf Nation that their captain remains 100% committed minimizing any distractions that may detract from our stated pre-season corporate goal: finishing low enough to have a shot at drafting John Tavares.



Not seen: The MLSE marketing department lobbying hard for next year's "Third Jersey".

JFJ Continues To Enjoy The Confidence Of His Employers

Come with me, children, as we jump into the way-back machine to those heady days of summer when Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment enthralled us with their own, shall we say, particular motivational theories around getting the most out of their employees. Yep, nothing says, “We think you’re a terrific General Manager!” better than actively searching for a baby sitter for that General Manager. In public. Twice. Then being turned down by everyone to whom you offer the job. Ah…good times indeed. Well, fear not, kids. MLSE would like to remind you anew that they hold John Ferguson Junior in the highest regard:

Richard Peddie, the President of Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment, told the Toronto Sun that hiring Ferguson, who had no prior experience as a general manager, was a mistake.

Seriously, John, how much longer are you going to take this? They’re obviously not going to fire you (either your buyout must be fucking enormous, or Larry’s worried about certain…photographs…getting out) so they’ve opted for the next best thing. They’re trying to humiliate you out of the job. For Christ sake, just quit! Take your cash and retire to someplace saner like say, Pyongyang. Jesus, I don’t know whether to pity your helpless ass or admire you for trying to stick it to the man.

To be perfectly honest, I think it must be enormously difficult to be JFJ, at anytime, let alone now. He grew up the son, and namesake of a hockey legend. He’s 40 years old, and his legendary father’s equally legendary friends still call him “Junior”. The Toronto Maple Leafs, the fixation and enabler of the most pathologically irrational fan base in the NHL hired him without any GM experience whatever and then refused to trust him with the authority necessary to actually do the job. He’s forced to spend more time negotiating the Byzantine structure of his corporate overlords than he does player contracts. In the last three months his own boss has inferred that he’s incompetent and “a mistake”.

And as a final perk, he gets to be bombarded constantly with steaming piles of monkey dung masquerading as “journalism” from a no talent hack whose “inside sources” invariably turn out to be a) the ACC cleaning crew, b) his imaginary bathroom buddy “Fritz” and c) wrong (remember that Mats Sundin Is Retiring!! story, Steve? Yeah, didn’t think so. But I do. Fool me once…jackass).

And to think, until today, I had no idea the poor man had to endure all of that without possessing a human spine. You know, it almost makes me feel bad for him. Almost.

Hiring Ferguson A Mistake [TSN.ca]
JFJ On His Way Out [Toronto Sun]

Game 18: Laughs 3, Sens 0 -- Oh Dear God, There Will Be No Living With Them After This

As I watch a game, I keep a notepad by my side to record any random brain farts that may or may not become fodder for the breathless prose my loyal reader (Hi Mom!) has come to expect in the subsequent game post. What follows is an exact transcription of tonight’s abortion: Flat. Skate! Hit? Goddamn it. Paddock, what the hell?? FUCK! Tucker. C’mon, hit them! Son of ….JAYYYYYSSSSONNNNN!!! Crap. HIT…THEM!! Fuck! Fuckity fuck FUCK!! Tlusty…wonderful. Celebratory junk shots for all. Break the shutout? FUCK! Fuckin’ Leaf fans…insufferable bastards. Hey, look. Cops is on…

The Singular High:

• The Schwartz is strong in this one: Okay, fine. This will come as a shock to Beloved, but I will, occasionally, admit when I’m wrong. Swiss Pastry is playing pretty well. There, I said it. Happy? Two losses (including tonight) in his last 25 games and he seems to have cut down on his wanderlust on the rebounds. I still don’t trust him with our Big Ugly Trophy aspirations. Nothing personal Martin, but you’re…um…from away, you see, and Euros fold like a cheap suit in the playoffs, particularly if they play for us. But for now, you have my rather qualified endorsement. And don’t paint your mask. “Darth Gerber” is a pretty cool nickname. Might even make the hotties overlook that bald spot.

The Lows:

• If it ain't broke...: Look Coach, I know how you feel. You're the boss. You're the grande fromage, the undisputed leader of the best team in hockey. Hell, you might have the best team in history on your hands. Your team is 15-2. You Is Da Man! But...but...they've done it by themselves. How can you stand out? How can you prove what a genius you are if people think all you do is just tap guys on the back and send them over the boards? No! You must do something! Anything! Everyone must know of your brilliance! I know! Try scrambling the lines! The same lines that got you to the Finals! Yes...that's it! I'll put Eaves between Spezz and Alfie! Heater to the second line with Fish and Robitaille! The fourth line won't even see the ice! GOD, I am a master! So for three games now, you've changed things up. The result? All the chemistry of a Grade 8 mixer. Won one, barely won a second and didn't even show up for the third. Here's an idea John. How about you just, oh I don't know...LEAVE WELL ENOUGH THE FUCK ALONE?!?!? Read this. Tap your guys. Stay the hell out of the way.

• Geez, if only I were allowed to somehow physically impair my opponent: I can almost guarantee that there was more fight in the crowd than there was on the ice. How do I know this? Well, easy. By the time it was 1-0, Leaf Nation were already taunting Senators fans, unaccustomed as they are to a lead. At 2-0 they were throwing popcorn. At 3-0, Sens supporters had finally had enough with mono-syllabic grunts and bad sentence structure and were swinging for the fences. On the ice? There was six minutes left it in the third before I saw a blue sweater on his ass. 'Nuff said.
  

The Creamy Middle:

It was inevitable really. We were due for a stinker. But did it have to come tonight? Against the Leafs? Christ, we don't play them again until February 2nd. Even if the Laughs win all of 4 games between now and then, Larry Tannenbaum gets fired, JFJ is assassinated, the ACC collapses under its own hubris and the unholy union of Grapes and Darcy Fucking Tucker finally implodes due to irreconcilable differences, we'll have to listen to them. They are impervious to logic. They can't grasp just how badly their team sucks. They are incapable of independent thought. They simply empty their wallets, Pavlov like, at the sight of anything in blue and white. They are Leafs Nation. And they'll never, ever, shut the fuck up.

Up Next: I killed a man, just to watch him die:

Monday night, Habs, at the Phone Booth. I almost feel bad for them, and especially for my friends at Four Habs Fans. The last time we played them, we were coming off a loss. We beat them just to make a point. This time, we're coming off a loss. To our most hated enemy. We don't lose two in a row. As I've told them before, they're going to need a bigger boat.