Saturday, August 9, 2008

Battle of the Blogosphere Campaign Launch: A Second Line Scorer In Every Pot!

As a rule, I generally avoid fan forums (fora?) and message boards in my interweb travels. The Luddite naif in me finds their limitless discussions, odd language ("OMG yoU gyz RoK! Lefs SUX !!111!!") and multiple threads strange and frightening. Invariably, I end up clicking around a site, trying desperately to keep up with what's going on until, in my confusion, I end up inadvertently propositioning on octogenarian peasant in Kuala Lampur. Then things get weird.

So when, during one of my wistful forays into my site stats (why yes, I am possessed of juvenile cravings for attention and reinforcement, why do you ask?) I noticed a couple of hits from something called The NHL Arena, my first thought was Oh dear God, they have found me and will now come, with their unholy grammar and terrifying sentence structure to devour my soul! Then recalling I had already sold my soul for a six pack of Blue and the '07 Eastern Conference Championship, I calmed down, and checked it out.

After being pleasantly shocked by the utter and wholly unexpected lack of venomous illiterates, imagine my surprise to discover I was at war.

Okay, before I get called out by another anonymous commenter for outrageous hyperbole, I'll admit "war" may be a strong word. What I did find was something called "Battle of The Blogosphere", a series of opinion polls pitting hockey blogs against each other and where you, gentle reader, get to choose your favourite.

And I'm getting creamed.

My round one opponent (were there seedings for this?) is none other than the venerable New Jersey Devils blog (and fellow NY Times Slapshot contributor/unpaid intern/indentured serf) In Lou We Trust. Sure, they post more often, with more intelligence, grace and solid hockey analysis than I do. I also imagine they're better looking too. But only I can bring you the irrational anger borne of frustrated ambition and lost glory!

And so I ask both of you, loyal readers (Hi Mom!), which would you rather have? Information? Discussion? Actual knowledge? I submit to you, that way lies madness! Vote for me! Vote for me, and show them that snark, silliness and vituperative rage have a place on these here internets! Show them that "better" is not! Show them that the terrorists WILL NOT WIN!

Besides, we still have six weeks until camp opens. What the hell else do we have to do?

My name is Senators Lost Cojones, and I approved this message.


John Fischer said...

They? Who's they? It's just me.
And I'm quite confident that I'm not better looking at all unless you're into out-of-shape, pasty dudes who look like they're 16. Then again, to each their own, and all that.

Also: Cricket is a bizarre, more compact version of baseball. It's unintuitive at first, but it becomes more understanding.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

They? Who's they? It's just me.

From one out-of-shape, pasty dude to another (although I haven't looked 16 since the Reagan years)...I bid you welcome! And oops. Sorry, should have caught that. Sometimes the voices in my head get in the way.

Also: Nope. Still don't get it.

PPP said...

SLC - I'll teach you cricket in about 5 minutes. It's a piece of cake ;)

Also, you got my vote.