Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I Can Haz Ur Captain? How To Win Friends And Stick A Dagger Into The Back Of Your Archenemy

One of the more bizarre reasons being floated around this here series of tubes about why the Sens should hire Pat Quinn as Head Coach is that, in so doing, it will somehow exact some kind of revenge on the Laffs. This affront, the theory goes, will no doubt prompt legions of Leaf fans to drag themselves out of their beer and nacho induced stupors long enough to howl incoherently in impotent fury over the fact that their archenemy somehow stole the best coach they've known since Punch Imlach spent the late Sixties begging Dave Keon to touch his "fedora".

It's an interesting theory (and as Sens fans we have a sworn duty to listen to any and all ideas with an end goal of driving Laff Nation batshit), but when you consider that Patty was basically run out of town on a rail almost three years (and one coach and two GMs) ago for missing the playoffs, it tends to fall apart.

So that may not work the way we'd like. But this sure as hell would:
Mats Sundin raised some eyebrows when he hinted playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs wasn't his only option for next season. The Leafs captain, who accepted the Mark Messier Leadership Award on Wednesday, is an unrestricted free agent July 1.
Now, as many of us gleefully recall, Mats was the key member of the Geritol Cabal who all but sealed JFJ's fate when they refused to waive their no-trade clauses back in February. And now, after denying the Leafs the chance to rebuild, is talking about walking out, leaving the Laffs with nothing but broken hearts, and the fetid stink of eternal crapulence. I like the cut of your jib, son!

Of course, this may all be just a negotiating ploy on the part of the Sundin camp to try and squeeze MLSE for everything they can get, and that he really has no intention of going anywhere (Cliff "Get The Hell Off My Lawn!" Fletcher has announced that he'll be talking to Sundin in a couple of days...or when somebody finds his teeth. Whichever comes first). But if it isn't...

Make this happen Bryan. All it will cost you is a phone call...and roughly 7 to 8 million dollars. Or to put it another way, roughly the same amount you're saving by whacking Redden and Emery from the books. How convenient!

Sure it may not work out. These things rarely do. But if we can't win the Cup next year, please give us, at the very least, the consolation prize of hearing the ACC crowd boo a different Swede for a change. That is if they can stop crying into their beer long enough to do it.

Sundin: Leafs Just One Of Many Options For Next Season []


Jaredoflondon said...

you evil, evil man.

Habsfan10 said...

Also acceptable: Sundin signing with the Habs or Wings. If he wins a Cup in Montreal, the Leaf fans go crazy. If he goes to Detroit for a year or two and wins a couple of Cups, suddenly the Leafs are sitting in third for total Cups won ... and the Leaf fans still go crazy.

Senators Lost Cojones said...

Jared: I believe it was Cicero who once said "BWWAAAAAAHAAHAAHAA!!"

HF10: Also acceptable: Sundin signing with the Habs or Wings. Not so much.

Tell you what. First one to get to Stockholm and mark their territory by peeing on Mats' leg wins!

Habsfan10 said...

SLC, we at the FHF already have our Swedish law firm on the job. Christer and Marc can pee with the best of them.