Time To Get Your Dingo Monkey Crank On Ottawa!

One to go. One win from the promised land. It is a truly wonderous time to be a Senators fan. Sabres fan? Not so much. From Sabre Report:

"And, at this point, if you haven’t shown up for the first 3 games guys, don’t show up for the 4th. Save everyone a little time and money and let us get back to our lives. I think I’ll be madder at them if they actually win game 4 at this point than if they lose it."

Oddly enough, and precisely because I've been a Sens fan from the very beginning (well, 92-93...1932 is a little fuzzy but I do admire the snazzy threads), I can totally sympathize with the Buffalites. After all, we fairly wrote the book on the terrific-season/suck-moose-cock-come-playoffs.

"The truth is that this team got okay with losing and not working somewhere around January. What happened this week was the comeuppance for 4 months worth of bad habits, and we get to choke on it all summer."

This may not be my place to point this out guys, but, um...there is another game after all. Just sayin...

When I look back on Ottawa's playoff futility of yore, I seem to get particularly hung up on 1999. The reason escapes me, (selective amnesia. YAY!) but whatever the cause, I am suddenly highly aroused at the site of brooms.

Flangerotti!!

Sens and Sabres: Beyond Horrible [SabresReport.com]

Abandon Hope Buffalo! Pookie Is Concerned!. Can We Have Our Trophy Now?

If you're like me (and God help you if you are) then you're always interested in what the "other fans" are saying about your team. How did they see the game? What is the general mood after a win? After a loss (always more entertaining)? Can they really be that illiterate?

I was particularly interested in the opinions of Buffalonians (Buffalites?). I've been there a couple of times to attend Bills games and I have to say that, on the whole, I've always found them to be a friendly bunch. That is as long as they think you're on their side. If you're not, however, they will turn on you like a pack of rabid ferrets, albeit ferrets with better language skills (slightly) but with poorer motor control.

All that to say, I was planning a post on the Sabres' fan blogs and how, aside from the expletives, drunken ramblings and bad grammar, they were just like you and me, only dumber. But then life got in the way (see below) and now I've missed the hole shot.

It then occured to me...why would I go through all the research/angst/carpal tunnel when I can simply direct you to those who've already done it, and done it in a way far superior then I ever could?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the post-game 1 Sabre round-up, courtesy of the more then capable scribes at Battle Of Ontario.

Pookie and her oracle. Beautiful work gentlemen. Simply beautiful.

On Effort, Omens, Goalies, and Magic Switches [Battle of Ontario]

Hey, This Interweb Thingy Still Works! Cool!

For the one of you who may stumble across this site from time to time on the way to free Girls Gone Wild thumbnails and wonder where the hell I've been for a week...well, let's just say that working for a living blows, and leave it at that.

Not that I haven't pined for you, dear misled reader. Oh, I have. But things just kept getting in the way. So without being maudlin...and by that I mean without being a seething cauldron of pent up rage and impotence...I will simply say "Oh MAN, the comedic potential of the last week was immense and I MISSED IT!!" and leave it at that. To wit:

• My favorite collumnist, after having his "Sundin is done!" story shot down in flames, came across as the petulent child he is on a guest appearance of TSN's Off The Record (the slouch was particularly funny).

• The New Jersey Devils, after their five game demolition at the hands of the Mighty Gigantic And Magnificent Ottawa Senators (YAY!), immediately began to look forward to next year by pointing fingers at, in order, their future Hall Of Fame goalie, their invisible euro-captain and the Don Corleone/Pillsbury Dough Boy love child himself, who fired the coach with two games to go, and took over. As a distraction to its passionate fan, the club reminded him that it could be worse. They could be moving to Newark. Wait...what?

• Sunday's edition of TSN's The Reporters featured the panel lamenting on the low scoring in this year's playoffs, putting forward so many idiotic ideas (Make the nets bigger! Go to 3-on-3! Spot the Leafs a two goal lead every game!*), I was in serious danger of a stroke brought on by the flood of potential post topics they were generating. Then a thoroughly enjoyable screaming match erupted over the Shane Doan Affair, in which I was fully expecting (and desperately hoping for) a Damian Cox leap across the desk, Jim Everett like, and throttle Simmons all the while screaming "the fucking camera is over THERE DUMBASS!!" Yeah...that would have been sweet.

• Finally...the unstoppable force that is Oleg Suprykin. Buffalo now quakes before him, erecting statues in his honour lest the people anger their new god.

There were many other things that streaked across my consciousness this week, but alas, I was powerless to unleash my inner smart ass by twisting them into empty, barely recognizable, but entirely more entertaining husks of themselves. So much work, so many idiots, so little time.

* May have been fabricated by an imaginative wombat. Maybe. I'll have to ask.

Newark Crime High, Study Says [New York Times]

No surgery for Leafs' Sundin: report [CBC.ca]