Devils 5, Sens 1: Seriously. What Do We Have To Lose?

Screw "tinkering" with the line up.

Bryan, listen to me. I want you to hit the airwaves tomorrow and declare that the entire roster has been sent down to Bingo. Then I want you to announce that the entire Bingo roster has been called up to play against the Stars.

Sure, we'll get creamed. But at least we'll get to watch a bunch of kids who actually care about the game.

If we're going to suck moose balls for the next four months, I demand that I be entertained in the process.

Hartsburg Rearranges Deck Chairs, Declares Team "Unsinkable"

Puck drop in ten minutes, so let us dispense with the buzzing noises, shall we?

"I want to see every line work," said a frustrated Hartsburg. "When we start to work every night, every shift and every line, then it will start to turn. We've got to spread those three guys around. Let's be a blue-collar team."

"We are just going to try to simplify the game and work hard," said Spezza. "The way we were doing it before, it hasn't worked consistently. You don't want to complicate things too much. (Ruutu and Neil) like to play a pretty simple game. It's up to me to adapt."

"I'm excited about it," said Fisher, who hasn't scored since Nov. 27. "Every line has got a bit of skill and has got some guys that can play physical. It's kind of a different look, which maybe we need."

Sing it with me, children! Blah...blah...blah.

7:00 p.m., SportsNet East or RDS, for those of you of the poutine and Pepsi persuasion.

Behind Enemy Lines: They were the first to say pretty things about your humble scribe way back in aught seven, so it's about time I show them the love. Please say hello to 2 Man Advantage. And maybe beg them for mercy while you're there.

East Quarter -- Period 3: Wow. We Lose. I'm SHOCKED! SHOCKED, I Tell You!

-- How many times does a team get two 5-on3's in one game? Not very often. How often does a team not score on either one? Almost. Fucking. Never.

-- Missed The Net Count now stands at 18 according to the increasingly irritating CBC stat crew.

-- A-TRAIN UPDATE: Out for the game. "Head Laceration". Are you dead? You're dead, right Anton? No? Just stitches? THEN GETCHER FOOKIN' ASS ON THE ICE!

-- If Jarko Ruutu is making me wish he'd been aborted as a freshly conceived zygote, then he's doing his job. But still. I want him dead. I want his whole family, dead. Excuse me whilst I pummel something with this baseball bat.

-- And Fucknuts #1's magical mystery tour continues with a trip on Malkin after being caught (again) flat footed (again) at the blue line (again).

-- 6:00 to go. Malkin for the Pens 3rd. Aaaaand we're done. I'm going to go get drunk now. I'll try to put some lipstick on this pig tomorrow. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.