East Quarter -- Period 3: Wow. We Lose. I'm SHOCKED! SHOCKED, I Tell You!

-- How many times does a team get two 5-on3's in one game? Not very often. How often does a team not score on either one? Almost. Fucking. Never.

-- Missed The Net Count now stands at 18 according to the increasingly irritating CBC stat crew.

-- A-TRAIN UPDATE: Out for the game. "Head Laceration". Are you dead? You're dead, right Anton? No? Just stitches? THEN GETCHER FOOKIN' ASS ON THE ICE!

-- If Jarko Ruutu is making me wish he'd been aborted as a freshly conceived zygote, then he's doing his job. But still. I want him dead. I want his whole family, dead. Excuse me whilst I pummel something with this baseball bat.

-- And Fucknuts #1's magical mystery tour continues with a trip on Malkin after being caught (again) flat footed (again) at the blue line (again).

-- 6:00 to go. Malkin for the Pens 3rd. Aaaaand we're done. I'm going to go get drunk now. I'll try to put some lipstick on this pig tomorrow. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm all ears.