Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Dear Steve: You Are A Gutless Punk Ass Piece Of Shit

I hate the preseason. Absolutely loathe it. Putting aside, for the moment, the incredible rip-off these games are for the fans, it strikes me as the height of madness for a team to put its best players on the ice (let us here pause and give thanks to Gary and his Merry Band for mandating that teams must play a minimum number of “stars” in the preseason) in a meaningless game with a bunch of wannabes looking to make their bones by running at your starters. Which, of course, brings me to Steve Downie, dipshit extraordinaire.

OTTAWA - There's no telling what Steve Downie did to his chances of making the Philadelphia Flyers on Tuesday night, but it's a certainty that he won no friends on the Ottawa Senators.

The 20-year-old prospect knocked Senators centre Dean McAmmond out of the game with a concussion following a vicious second-period hit that sparked a melee and led to the Ottawa veteran being wheeled from the Scotiabank Place ice on a stretcher.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve never liked Downie. He's been nothing but a punk throughout his entire career, a mini Claude Lemieux without the skill or Darcy Tucker without the brains. Remember, this is a guy who got kicked off his first junior team for knocking a rookie's teeth out during practice after said rookie had the temerity to get upset after a hazing. And if the OHL had done the right thing and thrown him out of the league right then, he would have been promptly dispatched back to the cave from which he was hatched, would never have been in a position to get pissy about a clean hit from Schubert, skate 50 feet looking for payback (but never against Schube, oh no, never that. Schubert is much bigger than our fuckstick hero) and jump a foot in the air looking to take somebody's head off because the poor little piss ant was embarrassed at being put on his ass. Nope, if the OHL had done it's job, Dean McAmmond would have spent last night with his kids instead of a hospital room trying to remember his name. But they didn't, so here we are.

So, no Steve, I've never liked you. Not when you were in junior, not when Pierre "CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?!?" McGuire tried to wrap you in the Canadian flag at the World Juniors until I wanted to puke and certainly not now. Thank your lucky stars that there are classless GMs like Bobby Clarke around to draft classless assholes like you.

I think I'll let Brian McGrattan take it from here:

"He'll get what's coming to him," said McGrattan. "He'll do it to the wrong guy and somebody will put him out of hockey. You do that at his level a couple of times, guys in junior won't do it, but guys at this level will. He'll get what's coming to him next time we play him, that's for sure."

I'll be waiting for that day. And when it comes, I'll be the first one to piss on the lifeless carcass of your "career".

McAmmond Injured In Senators Win

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