And Now, Please Welcome YOUR Hamilton Pred-- Wait, What? Sorry Folks, I Gotta Take This Call

I'm afraid I have a confession to make, and I ask you not to judge to harshly based on that confession. I was born in Hamilton. Yes, it's true. I feel the same way.

However, because of that, I've always held a soft spot in my heart for the City Chopped In Half By A Really Steep Cliff. To this day, nothing can make me fly into a fit of mild annoyance more than when I hear (usually a day or two after the fact) that the Ti-Cats have lost again to those bastard Toronto Ar...er...Ag...um...hang on...I had it right here... Oh yeah! The Argos. That the Ti-Cats have lost, yet again to those bastards, the Toronto Argonoghts. On top of that, I also dated a girl from Hamilton for quite some time, but that relationship came to a rather awkward end when she threw a dumptruck at me for leaving the seat up.

All that to say, I can only view Hamilton's latest tizzy over the possible return of the NHL with amusement mixed with a tinge of pity. Having taken years to get over Ottawa's glorious triumph over them in the Pay The NHL A Ridiculous Expansion Fee For A Shitty Team Sweepstakes of 1990, the good citizens of Hamilton have had to endure not one, but two dalliances with a team of their own in two years. And both have been manufactured by the same guy.

Jim Balsillie, CEO of Research In Motion, those fun folks who brought you the Blackberry and by extension, any number of ruined vacations, domestic disputes and awkward porn downloads has reached an "agreement in principle" to buy the Nashville Predators. Only thing is, neither Jim Balsillie's NHL nor that "principle" includes...um...well, Nashville:

Despite the assertions of his representatives -- as recently as Tuesday -- that he has no intention of moving the Preds, Balsillie stunned the Nashville faithful -- along with the NHL's head office -- with the Hamilton deal, then compounded that shock with plans to take deposits on season tickets starting today.

Why on earth Gary's Gang would be shocked, SHOCKED, that Balsillie would look to buy an existing franchise and move it to his home town of Hamilton is beyond belief, when one considers that this same Jim Balsillie tried to yank the Penguins out from under Mother Mario for the same purpose less than a year ago is a topic for another day. And believe me, there will be another day on this space.

I just wish that Balsillie would stop toying with the faithful of Hamilton in the hopes of wrangling a better deal from *insert latest hostile takeover target here*. It's not nice. Either shit of get off the pot. Either you make Toronto envious by bringing big-league hockey to southern Ontario or you don't. Pick one. Until then, remember that dumptrucks can fly a surprisingly long way. And they hurt. A lot.

Predators owner-to-be puts sale of team in jeopardy [SI.com]