Showing posts with label Aw Crap I hate when this happens. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Aw Crap I hate when this happens. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Come Back Shane! Come Back! SHAAAAAANE!

OTTAWA (SLC) -- The Ottawa Blogger Collective (©TUC), a drunken disturbed loose confederation made up of three of the finest Senators blogs gracing the internet, along with another of lesser repute, announced today that their nascent plan to corner the Cool Stuff Dedicated To Obscure Fourth Liners market will have to wait, as the star of their fall line, 21 year old centre Cody Bass, was demoted to the American Hockey League. One blogger, wishing to remain anonymous remarked, "I hope they call him up soon. That basement full of malaysian seamstresses ain't gonna pay for itself." Rumours that their plans also included a guerrilla campaign to get Bass voted to the All Star Team remain unconfirmed as of this writing.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Er...Ahem...Yes...Well. This Could Get A Little Awkward


No matter how stupendously exciting the signing of a journeyman backup goalie can be, I hadn't planned on posting anything tonight. You see, last evening's festivities went a little longer than usual and I'm now trying to piece together coherent sentences on four hours of sleep (note to self: the next time you hear someone say "Hey, let's break out that bottle of scotch I've been saving!" run the other way as if your ass is on fire. Or call in sick. One of the two).

But then, came this (H/T to DHS, Sherry and Al for the email):

The Ottawa Senators have added some sandpaper to their lineup. Feisty forward Jarkko Ruutu has agreed to a 3-year, $3.9 million dollar deal with the Senators.

Soooo...Jarkko. Buddy. Pal. Jaaaarkky. Jarks. Can I call you Jarks? No? All righty then, Mr. Ruutu it is. Um...so yeah, about all that stuff I said...
...my assertion that Jarko Ruutu is a diving chicken shit bastard who lives beneath the rancid piece of meat caught between the pincers of the tick that once embedded itself in my dog's asshole still stands.
You have to understand, it was in the heat of the playoffs after all. You understand, right? Don't you? Understand? I'll assume by your silence and the totally non-threatening manner in which you are holding that nine iron that you do. Hey look over there! Shean's back!

Senators, Ruutu Agree to Three-Year Contract [TSN.ca]
And Cooler Heads May Yet Prevail [Five For Smiting]